Billy Packer Sucks

And to tell you why Billy Packer sucks, I'm going to let blogger Matt May tell you some of the reasons.

The difference is palpable and it's a shame that Majerus won't be around for the tourney. CBS is apparently under the assumption that because Packer is "controversial" people tune in. On the contrary, there is no other outlet for watching the Final Four and, therefore, no choice. It would be interesting to see how many viewers watch Final Four weekend with the mute button super-glued on their remote.

For me, Packer has always been somebody who loves to hear himself talk. He's like Dick Vitale but without a personality. He simply drones on and on about the game and brings zero insight to what I'm watching. He likes to make statements. That's it. No real analysis to explain why he made his statement other than, "Here's what I think."

Hell, I'd rather listen to Vitale. At least he loves the game.

Anybody else want to weigh in on this? Why does Packer suck?

My Final Four

I've got several brackets completed, but here are my Final Four picks for the office tournament.

• Duke
• Connecticut
• UCLA
• Florida

UCLA takes care of Duke. UConn topples Florida.

UCLA outlasts UConn for the championship.

In this bracket, I've got IU losing in the first round to San Diego State.

Mmmmmm....Donut Burger

The burger that would do Homer Simpson proud: the donut burger.

This latest culinary disaster was created by the Gateway Grizzlies, a minor league baseball team in the Frontier League.

The Grizzlies and Krispy Kreme Doughnutshave teamed up to create “Baseball’s Best Burger.” The burger, which was introduced at Gateway’s December 10th sale, consists of a thick and juicy burger topped with sharp cheddar cheese and two slices of bacon. The burger is then placed in between each side of a Krispy Kreme Original Glazed doughnut.

The burger is said to weigh in at 1,000 calories and contain 45 grams of fat. By comparison, a Whopper with cheese only has 760 calories but has 47 grams of fat.

“We have had the opportunity to bring in a new concession item for the past two seasons and each of them have been very successful. We look forward to Baseball’s Best Burger and the excitement it will bring to the ballpark,” said Grizzlies General Manager Tony Funderburg.

Not to mention the paramedic visits.

Just Say NO!

CBS SportsLine.com: Isiah talking with Hoosiers? Witnesses say yes

Indiana Hoosiers legend Isiah Thomas was on campus Tuesday in Bloomington, Ind., and was spotted by two people walking into the office of the president, those witnesses told CBS SportsLine.com.

Rumors like this continue to scare the pee out of me. But does Isiah want the job? So far, he's saying all the things I want to hear:

Thomas denied an Internet report that said two witnesses saw him enter the office of university president Adam Herbert. "I have no interest in the Indiana coaching job," Thomas said in his statement.

But with this guy, you can never tell if he's telling the truth. He has no soul. He's left such a trail of destruction wherever he goes that his nickname should be Armageddon. I wouldn't put it past him to make a trip to Bloomington to gauge the university's interest in him and find a way to get away from the mess he's created in New York.

Injured Cheerleader Keeps Her Spirit

From MSNBC.com: Cheerleader worried for team, not herself

A cheerleader who continued to cheer for her team from a gurney despite tumbling 15 feet onto her head said Wednesday she was worried the accident would distract from the basketball game.

“My biggest concern was that I didn’t want my squad to be distracted — so that they could continue cheering on the team — and I didn’t want my team to be distracted from winning the game,” Kristi Yamaoka, 18, told NBC’s “Today” show.

I was watching this game and saw a replay of the fall. Like everybody else, I watched to see if she would be okay. But when she started her cheer routine from the gurney, I laughed through my tears. It was a great moment.

Granted, the Missouri Valley Conference had a typical knee-jerk response to the incident by banning certain cheerleading stunts during the women's basketball conference tournament. Everybody seemed okay with this stuff prior to the injury.

I guess it's all fun and games until somebody falls 15 feet and breaks a spine.

Hotter Than A Pistol

If you haven't heard the story about Jason McElwain, a 17-year-old autistic boy who scored 20 points in four minutes in his team's home finale, then consider yourself outed from the rock you've been under.

And if Hollywood has anything to say about it, you will hear plenty more about him.

His play drew national attention, and a flood of calls from Hollywood. His parents have received inquiries from about 25 production companies ranging from The Walt Disney Co. and Warner Bros. to independent documentary filmmakers.

My one request is that this movie does not end up in the hands of Jerry Bruckheimer. He has a way of messing with the facts when it comes to movies based on true stories.

Let's hope Jason's story ends up in the capable hands of independent filmmakers, people who care about making sure the human element of the story gets told correctly as opposed to pumping out a formulaic script.

Why not put Jason's story into the capable hands of Angelo Pizzo and David Anspaugh, the writer and director of Hoosiers--recently the choice of the readers of USA Today newspaper as the best sports movie of all time. In 2001 the United States Library of Congress deemed the film "culturally significant" and selected it for preservation in the National Film Registry.

I think Jason's story is culturally and emotionally significant.

"There are thousands of families across the country, getting a diagnosis of autism for their 3-year-old; they took at Jason and have tears in their eyes," said Dr. Susan Hyman, an associate professor for pediatrics at the University of Rochester's Strong Center for Developmental Disabilities. "Because the image they have in their minds isn't of some strapping young teenager making baskets from half court. The hope and the promise this provides -- it's priceless."

Put another way, before McElwain's sharpshooting, high-profile role models for children with autism were few and far between--and there aren't many whom those inside the autism community can relate to.

Until now.

“I’m not really that different,” he said. “I don’t really care about this autistic situation, really. It’s just the way I am. The advice I’d give to autistic people is just keep working, just keep dreaming, you’ll get your chance and you’ll do it.”

As much as I would hate to see Hoosiers replaced as the greatest sports movie ever, I wouldn't mind if Jason's story becomes the one to do it.

Out With the Old Mike, In With the New?

A fellow by the name of iugrad gave me this link over at Potshots with Pete:

Monty hearts IU: Through various middlemen, former Stanford coach Mike Montgomery has made it clear that he's interested in Indiana if Indiana is interested in him. Montgomery is enduring his second straight losing NBA season at Golden State. For the record, in my book, Montgomery should be the first choice at Indiana. What he did at Stanford (393-167) boggles the mind. Imagine him at Indiana.

Believe me, I am.

This little blurb is by Gregg Doyel at CBS SportsLine.com. It may only a small blurb, but it has given me so much hope. Recent buzz surrounding the next coach at IU had begun to include the Great Destroyer, Isiah Thomas, former IU golden boy and current destroyer of the New York Knicks. I was starting to lose faith in humanity, but now? Oh, baby.

If IU's athletic director, Rick Greenspan, has any sense at all, Mike Montgomery would be at the top of his list.

To work for Pitino, assistants need to shed pounds

This is a great article by Aditi Kinkhabawal over at SI.com.

Hats off to Rick Pitino for not only demanding physical responsibility from his players, but from his assistant coaches as well.

At Louisville, punishments are meted out in practice-closing push-ups. These days, Menzies pops down and does them alongside his players. He can do 150. You'd better believe there's not a Cardinal who whines about how many he's got to do.

"We're preaching to these kids about self-discipline and about being able to set goals and maintain them," Menzies said. "They respect your words a little more when you're living what you're telling them."

That is so true. Now if only Philip Fulmer would follow Pitino's advice.

Davis Was Never Right

I'm recovering from hand surgery so I can't comment as fully as I'd like to on Mike Davis resigning as Indiana's head coach.

But I will say that Jason Whitlock on ESPN.com Page 2 got it right:

Davis isn't the first coach -- black or white -- to face a hanging tree. And you know what? He's probably not the first to tie his own noose, pick out the tree and kick the chair out from underneath his feet. It just feels like the first time to me, because I've seen it coming from the get-go.

While Davis believes Indiana needs one of its own to lead the Hoosiers, I contend that all Indiana fans want is a coach who passionately wants to be a Hoosier. Period.

That's so true. A recent column by Regie Hayes of the Fort Wayne News-Sentinel summed it up for me:

No one denies Davis can recruit. But he hasn’t proved he can build a team that blends stars, co-stars and role players. Last season, too much depended on the rise and fall of Bracey Wright. This season, it’s Marco Killingsworth. Too often, the Hoosiers seem to have a Plan A and, if that doesn’t work, they try Plan A.

Davis’ best team – the 2002 NCAA runner-up team – had no single superstar, but a collection of pieces that meshed in Jared Jeffries, Tom Coverdale, Dane Fife, A.J. Moye, Jeff Newton and Kyle Hornsby.

Since that miraculous tournament run in 2002, after all of Knight's kids left the program and all that remained were Davis's recruits, his inability to coach began to show.

And then the real whining began. But we've been over that before and don't need to write anymore about it. He's gone.

I'll let Mr. Whitlock end this post:

Bobby Knight turned Indiana into a powerhouse by stocking his roster with the best talent Indiana, Illinois and Ohio had to offer. Davis tried to win big this year with three mercenaries from the state of Alabama -- D.J. White and Auburn transfers Marco Killingsworth and Lewis Monroe. Killingsworth and Monroe enrolled at Indiana with just one year of eligibility left. White, a sophomore, committed to Indiana with the intentions of turning pro as soon as possible.

Monroe has been a disappointment. White injured his foot. And Killingsworth, who lacks the kind of Indiana-bred basketball savvy of players such as Jeffries, kills Indiana's offense because he doesn't know how to pass out of a double-team.

Are there some IU fans who don't like Davis simply because of the color of his skin? Yes. But that element in no way cost Davis his job. Mike Davis cost himself one of the best jobs in America by wallowing in pity.

Pity provides comfort, but it sure don't pay the bills.

Mike Davis is an Abusive Parent

Okay, I confess that I don’t know that for sure. In fact, he’s probably a really nice guy. He must be because he continues to convince talented basketball players to come to IU when he’s clearly an inferior coach.

But I have a serious problem with this (edited version, my emphasis):

Wednesday night, Davis kept his team behind closed doors for nearly 40 minutes after its most recent Big Ten road loss, a 72-54 drubbing at the hands of Wisconsin.

Very few players leaving the locker room had anything to say. Marco Killingsworth and Robert Vaden declined comment.

Roderick Wilmont said Davis challenged the team.

“He just asked us, ‘Who are you playing for?’” Wilmont said. “A lot of guys said their families and Indiana, and we’re just not playing for them right now. We’re embarrassing them. We’ve got to get this thing turned around.”

Junior college transfer Earl Calloway, who made his third start of the season at point guard, said Davis just told the team they needed to bounce back and bounce back quickly. IU plays Iowa on Saturday at Assembly Hall.

“He told us we need to pick our heads up, work harder and we need to win,” Calloway said.

Holy mother of controlling parents everywhere. So if you can’t teach your kids how to execute your offense, you blame them, call them an embarrassment, and heap shame on them? And then you tell them to hold their heads up like that’s going to make things better? It’s no wonder IU is in a tailspin. Davis is too busy defending himself as a worthy coach and blaming the players for the team’s troubles rather than figuring out how to save the season like a good coach should do.

“He told us we need to pick our heads up, work harder and we need to win.”

I’m seething with rage. That’s your big advice, “coach?” That’s like me telling a homeless person that all he needs to do is have a little pride and get a job. That’s all that needs to happen. The team just needs to work harder.

“We’ve got to get this thing turned around.”

What a simple strategy, “coach.” Is that like Bush saying our troops won’t leave Iraq until the job is done? Got any details in mind, “coach?” No? I didn’t think so.

I don’t know about anybody else, but I’ve seen games where the IU players are running their asses off. These boys can flat out fly around the court. Unfortunately, when they’re allowed to run they look like chickens with their heads cut off because they have no direction. That direction, or lack of it, comes from the leader on the bench.

Based on what I’m reading about this team meeting, I’m predicting that IU will lose to Iowa on Saturday. The team is feeling bad already and Davis just shamed them some more. Honestly, I don’t feel embarrassed to be a fan of IU basketball. I’m embarrassed that Mike Davis is the coach of the program.

Random Acts of Pain

1. I have a broken hand.
I returned to the basketball court last week for the first time in several months. During the second game I was involved in a collision that broke the fourth metacarpal on my left hand. I will have surgery next week to set the bone and install a plate.

This will set me back in the workout department. I was already seeing results from phase one of Mike Robertson's training plan. He has graciously offered to put the training on hold until the hand heals. The initial prognosis has me returning to lifting heavy weights in about three months, lighter lifting can resume sooner.

2. IU Lost Again
I'm ready to turn in my Hoosier Nation membership card. Last night's loss to Wisconsin was disgraceful. I'll have more to say later.

3. Girls are Better Than Guys...At Destroying Themselves
Teen girls are smoking and using prescription drugs more than teen boys, a new finding that is surprising in light of an overall decline in drug use.

4. McDonald’s french fries just got fatter
Translation: The level of potentially artery-clogging trans fat in a portion of large fries is eight grams, up from six, with total fat increasing to 30 grams from 25! And very few people will care about that and keep right on eating them.

5. Mike Davis is Still the Coach of Indiana
I'll let me buddy Steve break down the IU/Wisconsin game for me since all of his fingers are working.

Yeah. It's a beautiful day today. At least U2 won a bunch of Grammies.

MAR-CO? OH NO!

Once again, a superiorly coached team showed that Marco is not the answer when IU’s back is against the wall. For the second time this season, the number one ranked team in the country came to Bloomington, and for the second time the year, the number one team prevailed.

Final score: UConn 88. IU 80. And folks it wasn’t that close.

"I keep saying this over and over, Marco [Killingsworth] is definitely the presence we need. When he goes out of the game it definitely affects our play. Every time Marco goes out it hurts us. Marco's our guy, and there is no secret to that."--Mike Davis

And that’s your problem, “coach.” Everybody knows that you have designed your offense around one player. And you said so yourself, when Marco goes out, the team suffers. And that’s a shame because you have an entire team of talented players ready to take over games. But since you only run plays for Marco, you leave the rest of the guys to fend for themselves when he’s not in.

I think making your team one-dimensional--and announcing that strategy to everyone--indicates a poor coaching job and zero common sense.

So what’s the problem with Marco? Why am I so hard on him? Other than he gets winded, in foul trouble, and can’t shot free throws, nothing. Except maybe this.

I wonder what pitch Davis used to get Marco to come to IU. It’s as if he said, “I can get you to the NBA if you play for me.” Marco’s game is all about stats and not about game impact. Well, except for all the negative impact he has.

"When we push the ball early, good things happen for us. Against this basketball team [UConn], you got to get it up quick and make plays. I thought Earl came in with the speed to match their guys and did a great job. Playing that way takes us to another level."--Mike Davis

But “coach,” I have a problem. How can you push the ball when your offense is about dumping the ball into Marco? Good things happen when you push the ball, yet Marco is your man. Trying to have it both ways is not working.

Your best all-around player, Robert Vaden, even agrees with you: “Earl gave the team a big spark. He penetrated, pushed the ball up the court, got into the lane and got the team some open shots.”

And when dribble penetration was working, Davis still thought he should put Marco back in the game and pound the ball inside. Even though that strategy hadn't worked all game.

Some final thoughts:

• The answer is not Marco, its quickness.
• What is with Billy Packer’s love fest with Marco? He’s just gushing about how exhausted Marco is and all the effort he’s exerting. Maybe he’s just out of shape.
• At the 6:12 mark of the second half, Billy says Marco should come back in so IU can make one more run at catching up, even though IU had used speed and dribble penetration to catch up. Marco did make a nice pass to Vaden after coming in. However, I worry that the game will be slowed down when speed was getting us back in the game. The fear turned into reality.
• We go zone and immediately UConn scores because nobody covered the weak side.
  Ben Allen is a smart fouler. Yes, he gets caught out of position, but he will not let his man score easy baskets. He did that twice.
• Why give Marco the ball at the 3-point line?
• At 3:18 left, Marco does a poor job defending the pick and there is no additional weak side help and Boone gets a dunk plus one. Ole!
• IU’s player of the game according to CBS is Wilmont: 14 points on 5 of 14 shooting. THAT’S our player of the game? Thanks for point out the stat, too, CBS. Dicks.
• The style of play changed for IU with Marco in the game. The ball MUST go to the middle, which clogs the lane and prevents our speedsters from being effective.
• Ben Allen missed too many shots. He was in position for his shots. This was a good game for him regardless. He just needs to finish around the basket.
• Marco was once again rendered below average, yet the announcers had to bring up the Duke game again.
• Vaden is such a key cog to this team. He does so much. He’s smart, he’s got a nose for the ball, and he seems to be around most of the plays. Yet he’s not the central focus of the offense. It’s Marco. That’s just stupid.
• When UConn got around to finally taking advantage of its height advantage, it rolled over IU, no matter who was in. When IU realized how effective its quickness could be, it climbed back into the game. Monroe and Calloway were terrific during a stretch.
• Ultimately, it was IU’s inability to adjust to the game and refusal to stray too far from giving the ball to Marco and chucking threes that cost us this game. Oh, that and the matador defense. Ole!

Any final words?

“That is a great basketball team, the best I’ve seen,” Indiana coach Mike Davis said. “They’re so physical and have so many weapons you have to try and take away, whew, I’m glad that one’s over.”

So are the rest of us, “coach.” So are the rest of us.

Fraud Alert!

Attention Sport's Illustrated. You've been deceived. Hoodwinked. Bamboozled.

Your love affair with statistics has blinded you to reality. Have you forgotten the Mark Twain quip about statistics? "There are lies, damn lies, and statistics." Either that, or the staff is free-basing playdough.

The SI.com college hoops staff has released its Midseason All-Americans list. I'm thinking this should be interesting, after all, these guys are experts, right?

First Team:
J.J. Redick, Duke
Randy Foye, Villanova
Adam Morrison, Gonzaga
Mike Gansey, West Virginia
Shelden Williams, Duke

Not bad. I think Williams is overrated, but certainly a second or third teamer. Maybe there is a more deserving big man on the second team:

Second Team:
Dee Brown, Illinois
Allan Ray, Villanova
Maurice Ager, Michigan State
Marco Killingsworth, Indiana
LaMarcus Aldridge, Texas

Wait. Did I read that name correctly? Maroc Killingsworth? Midseason Second-Team All American as named by SI.com's college basketball writers?

Second Team:
Marco Killingsworth, Indiana
19.2 ppg, 7.5 rpg, 59.2% FGs

Oh. My. God. Has any player ridden the success of one fantastic performance more than Marco? When he went off against Duke's reigning defensive player of the year in Sheldon Williams on national TV and number one Duke lover Dick Vitale, I'm sure everybody across the basketball nation asked, "Who the fuck is that?"

Ask those of us who actually watch the locally televised games and we'll tell you who Killingsworth is--an over-excited big man who has difficulty passing out of double-teams, forces his way through double-teams, turns the ball over at key moments, can't shoot free-throws (but is getting better), argues with refs, and is a bully and a thug.

He is the main focus of IU's offensive style, recently defined as inarticulate, so he's bound to get the majority of the shots and IU chucks up tons of threes so he's bound to get some convenient rebounds. He can't jump worth crap and fancies himself an all-around player like Robert Vaden when he takes ill-advised three-point shots. He's a defensive liability, proven by several season or career best performances by opposing big men.

Second team All-American? He's not even a second team all Big Ten player in my book.

There are lies, damn lies, and statistics.

And then there is Marco Killingsworth.

From Contender to Pretender

"The journey from contender to pretender took all of a week for the Indiana University basketball team."

So begins an article by Terry Hutchens of the Indianapolis Star describing Indiana University's latest Big Ten road debacle against Minnesota. IU is now 4 and 3 in the conference with all three losses coming on the road.

After this game, I think the collective hearts of Hoosier Nation sank. My favorite blog to gripe about IU and "Coach" Davis is Steve Straiger's Sports Blog from the Hoosier Heartland. Steve lives in Indianapolis and can follow the Hoosiers much better than I. You want a great break down of the Minnesota game? Check this out.

For me, I can't bring too much to the table. Instead of discecting a game that I didn't see, I want to go back to a post I made on October 19, 2005, on my nearly failed sports-themed blog. The question I ask is, "Can Mike Davis Coach?"

I sort of agree with Mr. Davis. Will a leader emerge who is worth following? Looking over the roster, finding a leader will be difficult. The two Auburn transfers, Marco Killingsworth and Lewis Monroe, should provide senior leadership along with Marshal Strickland. Now that Bracey Wright left early for the NBA, gone is the need to stand around and wait for him to shoot. Leadership should bubble up from these three players on the court and in the locker room.

My worry comes from the “leader” on the bench. Coach Mike Davis has been embattled his entire tenure as IU’s coach. And for good reason. After Knight’s Kids finally graduated or left early, the team was left with only Mike’s Kids and Hoosier basketball has been worse for the wear.

Mike’s Kids have a propensity for bad fundamentals: sloppy passing, lazy cuts, slow responses, missed blockouts, bad picks, and hardly any basketball smarts.

All of that comes from coaching and Davis has yet to show me that he can truly coach basketball at this level. It’s one thing to draw up plays and lecture the team, it’s another to hone the skills of the players into a single unit that can execute the plays. The Hoosiers have failed to execute.

Davis blamed the youth of the team, among other things. He has yet to fully take responsibility for the on-court actions of this team. This year, he has no excuse.

This year, Davis must show me he can coach. The deck is stacked against him as the past two years have slowly tilted me towards the He’s-a-fucking-idiot-who-has-no-idea-what-he’s-doing side.

A post-game quote from Davis perfectly answers the coaching question:

But but his guy was so clean, it was um embarrassing. He he was just so clean in his fundamentals. Um yous have to take your um hat off to coach Monson for playing some guys that normally wouldn't start.

How about giving credit to Minnesota coach Monson for teaching number 32 the fundamentals of basketball? I'll tell what is embarassing. The fact that our guys seem to lose their grasp of fundamentals under Davis.

Do you hear that Davis? You're an embarassment to the profession of basketball coaches. Your kids aren't stupid. You've been blaming them for years. Time to face up the truth: YOU. CAN'T. COACH.

Spork Boy is Getting Stronger

Here is what I posted in the T-Nation forums about my current training program.

While attending Test Fest, I was the fortunate recipient of three months of complimentary training from Mike Robertson. Several T-Nation members--okay, maybe two--wanted me to chronicle my progress in the forums.

So here it is.

I want to add an important disclaimer about posting my progress. You may find that my posts will lack specifics about my program. This is for two reasons as laid out by Coach Robertson himself:

1 - People pay Mike to design customized programs and his customer base probably wouldn't like knowing that his programs are just all over the Internet for anyone to use, free of charge.

2 - Some of you might look at my program and think, "This fucking sucks! I write better programs than Robertson." However, Mike knows all about me--my situation, my goals, my health--and has a long-term plan in mind. What he's designed for me is perfect for my current situation and where I'm going.

That said, I will answer any questions you have about what I'm doing as long as they don't violate the two rules. I appreciate your understanding.

So let's begin.
==================================
For the first step, I completed an assessment detailing my goals, prior training, any health issues. Here is my initial e-mail to Mike (please forgive the length):

Here is the requested assessment information. It's a bit long, but I felt some of the information needed to be told.

My Current Training Program
I believe a little history about my workout history before I get into my current workout is in order. I tried for the majority of 2005 to get in shape. I struggled with allergy-induced infections that would lay me out for one to two weeks at a time, nullifying any workouts I would do. I played basketball and lifted when my body let me. I got that part under control with allergy medicine. So all's well that ends well, right?

In the late summer, I felt some pretty severe pain in my back and began seeing a chiropractor who also performs ART on me. Part of my treatment is to wear a 5mm lift to balance out my hips. I have an 8mm difference between my leg lengths. The lift has helped things out. Additionally, my L2 or L3, I can't recall which at the moment, is wonky and he's still working on straightening it out.

He didn't want me to lift so I began to swim. I stopped seeing him for a few months and finally said, "Screw it." My weight at the time was 228 pounds and I decided to take matters into my own hands.

I picked up Lou Schuler's book The Testosterone Advantage Plan and felt the workouts would have a limited affect on my back. I even asked Lou for his non-medical opinion on the matter and he concurred that my back should be okay, but to ask my doc if I had concerns.

With my mind made up and plan in hand, I set out. On November 7, I began a 10-day version of the Velocity Diet to jumpstart the process. I then began the Testosterone Advantage Plan (TAP) a few days later. To date, I've lost 28 pounds and the pain in my back is lessoning. I'm back to seeing my chiropractor and he continues with adjustments and ART.

This may be more information than you asked for, but I felt you should know that I've not been lifting consistently for a long time and I do have an existing back problem.

I just finished phase two of TAP. This phase lasted three weeks and consisted of the following:

Workout A
W1-Barbell Bench Press
W2-Cable Row
X1-Lat Pulldown
X2-Barbell Shoulder Press
Y1-Lying Triceps Extension with EZ Bar
Y2-Preacher Curl
Z1-Dumbbell External Rotation
Z2-Swiss-Ball Crunch

Workout B
X1-Leg Press
X2-Leg Curl
Y1-Leg Extension
Y2-Back Extension
Z1-Seated Calf Raise
Z2-Reverse Crunch

Over three weeks, I alternated the workouts--workout A on Monday, workout B on Wednesday, etc. The lifts were performed as super sets as indicated by the letters. For each exercise, I performed three sets at 8-12 reps. When I hit 12 reps for a lift, I increased the weight. The first set was usually used as a warm-up and had lighter weight. I had a 60 second rest between sets and exercises. I have phase one and two written down and can provide that information if you need it.

My Current Goals
My current goals have primarily consisted of losing fat while not losing muscle and strengthening my back. I'm not concerned with getting hyooge right now but I do want to get stronger.

I also set a goal of returning to the basketball court when I reached 190 pounds. There's not much significance in the number other than it means I will have lost another 10 pounds and put in another four weeks or so of strength training to support my back.

To that end, these would be my current goals:

1. Lose body fat
2. Get strong (maintain my muscle)
3. Get functional by strengthening my core
4. Get back on the basketball court
5. Dunk


Final Thoughts
As you put together my program, I'm a little hesitant to do any Olympic-style lifts if you're thinking of using them. First, my chiro doesn't want me to do dead lifts. I think he personally hates them more than he's actually worried about my back, but it bears mentioning. Secondly, never having done any Olympic-style lifts, I wouldn-t want to start out doing any of them incorrectly.

From that rambling message, Mike put together a lifting, flexibility, and posture rehab program. Here are the basics of what I'm doing:

* Train 3 times per week with weights
* Do posture/prehab/rehab work 3 times per week (minimum)
* Perform cardio 3 tims per week for about 20 minutes

More specifically:
1 - Perform the dynamic flex/spinal flossing before each workout to get me prepped and ready to go.

2 - The training program. For the first phase, I'm lifting three times a week on non-consecutive days while alternating "A" and "B" workouts as before. He managed to mesh several goals into one program (fat loss, get the back healthy, and start bringing up the strength). Once I get totally healthy, the programming will change.

3 - Perform posture/prehab/rehab work at least three times per week on non-consecutive days.

After several rounds of questions to get an understanding of his training style and further explanations about lifts and stretches, I hit the gym last Tuesday.

My next post will start to talk about my impressions and results from my first week of training.

Thanks for reading and I hope somebody will find this worth reading and even benefit from it.

I'm going to try to update the blog and forum thread with similar information. Check back to either spot.

A Fitness Fad for Everyone

The ladies in this photo are:
A) The Rockettes rehearsing a new routine
B) Saving a ton of money on their car insurance by switching to Geico
C) Participating in one of the nation's hotest fitness trends: Stiletto Strength

If you guessed C, laugh and cry along with me because Stiletto Strength is one of eight fitness trends highlighted in a Forbes article:

"Stiletto Strength" classes consist of a 30-minute routine of Pilates and strength training, with the last 15 minutes spent strutting around in 3-inch heels. But instead of being a class for training aspiring dominatrixes, it actually turned out to be a strength and stretch class that used classical dance moves to tone the legs.

Other new trends include Gyrotonic training, which combines principles from yoga, dance, gymnastics, swimming and tai chi on machines from the middle ages and Intensati, which inspires members to live balanced lives through a blend of meditation and martial arts.

You can check out what passes for fitness crazes these days by clicking here. For a real laugh, check out the extensive list of fitness classes offered on the Crunch Fitness Gyms web site, the originator of Stiletto Strength. Personally, I'm dying to try Disco Yoga.

With Allis Like These, Who Needs Enemas?

I'm just going to blatantly rip off something Lou Schuler wrote over at his blog:

The big news today: An FDA panel has recommended that the manufacturer of a prescription fat-blocking pill be allowed to sell it over the counter in the U.S.

The pill has a kind of cool generic name -- Orlistat -- and a cheesy trade name: Xenical. It'll be sold under yet another name, Alli, which sounds like half of a famous comedy team -- the wrong half for a weight-loss pill.

Orlistat sounds almost regal to me ("Your highness, I present the Duke of Orlistat"), which is appropriate, considering the entire point of the drug is to send more of what you eat down the porcelain throne before your body has a chance to absorb it.

Actions like this just boggle my mind. A prescription drug with minimal benefits and disgusting and discomforting side effects has passed the first step towards being sold over the counter just because there is an obesity epidemic. Yet, supplements like ephedra that are known to work and have fewer side effects are banned because the FDA doesn't regulate them.

Puh-leez. This is just continues to show how deep our government's hands are in the pockets of druge companies.

From the Washington Post article:

Here's what else you need to know about Orlistat, which GSK plans to market as Alli:

It won't work alone . Orlistat makes "weight loss easier, but not effortless," says Gary Foster, clinical director of the University of Pennsylvania's Weight and Eating Disorders Program. Foster worked with GSK to develop an online, year-long weight loss plan for those who take the drug over-the-counter. "You can't just take the pill and sort of check out," he says, noting that counting calories and increasing physical activity are still important. Plus, Orlistat only is effective when it's taken with food.

Prepare to pay. GSK vice president Steve Burton says that Alli will probably cost "about the same as a soda and a bag of chips," or about $2 to $3 per day. But that's for a 60 milligram dose -- half of what has been modestly effective in clinical trials. Studies show that weight loss is smaller at lower doses. (A 30-day supply of prescription Orlistat runs about $160 or about $6 per day.)

Calories still count . Some people try to avoid Orlistat's side effects by skipping high-fat fare but overeating low-fat or nonfat foods. "If someone complains that they are hungry all the time, they probably should not choose to take Orlistat," Cheskin says.

Plan on taking a multivitamin . Some key vitamins are not well absorbed when Orlistat is used. Among them are vitamins A, D, E and K, which are important for eyesight, bones, immune function and more. Users of Alli will be advised to take a multivitamin daily to make up for the loss.

Figure on long-term usage . Studies show that once the drug is stopped, weight usually returns, suggesting that those who take Alli will likely have to stay on it long-term or cycle on and off it.

Yep, it's a miracle drug. Anything that blocks the absorbtion of vitamins gets my vote as an effective nutritional aid. Oh, and I'm sure this pill won't be misused or abused in any way by people with eating disorders.

My Chummiest Confidante, Annick

This is an actual spam e-mail I received at work. My only edit was to remove the link to some web site:

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I love Annick. He/She is always good for a laugh and malodorous things.

The Next Step

"I looked over your program last night, and things are definitely going to be different. How many days per week and how much time do you have per session?"

So wrote Mike Robertson, one of the premier performance coaches in the country and the guy who is currently designing the next three months of my training. For some reason, that phrase, "How many days per week and how much time do you have per session" rather worried me...in a good way.

I won three months of training from Mike Robertson in a raffle while attending Test Fest in Washington, DC. I have no idea what to expect from this guy other than I'm going to work my ass off. I plan on chronicling my progress here so stay tuned.

A Lesson in Body Fat

Here's an important lesson I learned tonight when getting my body fat measure: Use the same person each time you measure.

On January 4, 2005, I measured in at a body fat of 20.7%. I weighed around 219. Since that day, I put on 9 pounds and eventually topped out at 228 before finally getting around to losing weight.

On January 9, 2006, I tipped the scale at 200 pounds. I figured it was time to get my body fat tested again. My pants had been fitting better, my face looked leaner, and I had been receiving compliments at work. Time to quantify my success.

This new gal pinched the everlovin' shit out of me and took measurements that gave me a body fat reading of 22.7%. That's right. I increased my fat mass over the year while still losing weight.

According to her, anyway. She was supportive and explained each person grips differently when taking measurements. As I rub the sore spot on my side I'm thinking, "ya think?" She also told me to come see her in 4-6 weeks to take another reading.

I'm trying hard to keep things in perspective. What I do know is that I've dropped a notch on my belt and can wear 34" waist jeans again instead of only 36". I'm going to stick with that even though right now I'm ready to eat a gallon of ice cream.

And she can bet her smug little personal trainer ass that she'll see me again in 4-6 weeks.