Fraud Alert!

Attention Sport's Illustrated. You've been deceived. Hoodwinked. Bamboozled.

Your love affair with statistics has blinded you to reality. Have you forgotten the Mark Twain quip about statistics? "There are lies, damn lies, and statistics." Either that, or the staff is free-basing playdough.

The SI.com college hoops staff has released its Midseason All-Americans list. I'm thinking this should be interesting, after all, these guys are experts, right?

First Team:
J.J. Redick, Duke
Randy Foye, Villanova
Adam Morrison, Gonzaga
Mike Gansey, West Virginia
Shelden Williams, Duke

Not bad. I think Williams is overrated, but certainly a second or third teamer. Maybe there is a more deserving big man on the second team:

Second Team:
Dee Brown, Illinois
Allan Ray, Villanova
Maurice Ager, Michigan State
Marco Killingsworth, Indiana
LaMarcus Aldridge, Texas

Wait. Did I read that name correctly? Maroc Killingsworth? Midseason Second-Team All American as named by SI.com's college basketball writers?

Second Team:
Marco Killingsworth, Indiana
19.2 ppg, 7.5 rpg, 59.2% FGs

Oh. My. God. Has any player ridden the success of one fantastic performance more than Marco? When he went off against Duke's reigning defensive player of the year in Sheldon Williams on national TV and number one Duke lover Dick Vitale, I'm sure everybody across the basketball nation asked, "Who the fuck is that?"

Ask those of us who actually watch the locally televised games and we'll tell you who Killingsworth is--an over-excited big man who has difficulty passing out of double-teams, forces his way through double-teams, turns the ball over at key moments, can't shoot free-throws (but is getting better), argues with refs, and is a bully and a thug.

He is the main focus of IU's offensive style, recently defined as inarticulate, so he's bound to get the majority of the shots and IU chucks up tons of threes so he's bound to get some convenient rebounds. He can't jump worth crap and fancies himself an all-around player like Robert Vaden when he takes ill-advised three-point shots. He's a defensive liability, proven by several season or career best performances by opposing big men.

Second team All-American? He's not even a second team all Big Ten player in my book.

There are lies, damn lies, and statistics.

And then there is Marco Killingsworth.

From Contender to Pretender

"The journey from contender to pretender took all of a week for the Indiana University basketball team."

So begins an article by Terry Hutchens of the Indianapolis Star describing Indiana University's latest Big Ten road debacle against Minnesota. IU is now 4 and 3 in the conference with all three losses coming on the road.

After this game, I think the collective hearts of Hoosier Nation sank. My favorite blog to gripe about IU and "Coach" Davis is Steve Straiger's Sports Blog from the Hoosier Heartland. Steve lives in Indianapolis and can follow the Hoosiers much better than I. You want a great break down of the Minnesota game? Check this out.

For me, I can't bring too much to the table. Instead of discecting a game that I didn't see, I want to go back to a post I made on October 19, 2005, on my nearly failed sports-themed blog. The question I ask is, "Can Mike Davis Coach?"

I sort of agree with Mr. Davis. Will a leader emerge who is worth following? Looking over the roster, finding a leader will be difficult. The two Auburn transfers, Marco Killingsworth and Lewis Monroe, should provide senior leadership along with Marshal Strickland. Now that Bracey Wright left early for the NBA, gone is the need to stand around and wait for him to shoot. Leadership should bubble up from these three players on the court and in the locker room.

My worry comes from the “leader” on the bench. Coach Mike Davis has been embattled his entire tenure as IU’s coach. And for good reason. After Knight’s Kids finally graduated or left early, the team was left with only Mike’s Kids and Hoosier basketball has been worse for the wear.

Mike’s Kids have a propensity for bad fundamentals: sloppy passing, lazy cuts, slow responses, missed blockouts, bad picks, and hardly any basketball smarts.

All of that comes from coaching and Davis has yet to show me that he can truly coach basketball at this level. It’s one thing to draw up plays and lecture the team, it’s another to hone the skills of the players into a single unit that can execute the plays. The Hoosiers have failed to execute.

Davis blamed the youth of the team, among other things. He has yet to fully take responsibility for the on-court actions of this team. This year, he has no excuse.

This year, Davis must show me he can coach. The deck is stacked against him as the past two years have slowly tilted me towards the He’s-a-fucking-idiot-who-has-no-idea-what-he’s-doing side.

A post-game quote from Davis perfectly answers the coaching question:

But but his guy was so clean, it was um embarrassing. He he was just so clean in his fundamentals. Um yous have to take your um hat off to coach Monson for playing some guys that normally wouldn't start.

How about giving credit to Minnesota coach Monson for teaching number 32 the fundamentals of basketball? I'll tell what is embarassing. The fact that our guys seem to lose their grasp of fundamentals under Davis.

Do you hear that Davis? You're an embarassment to the profession of basketball coaches. Your kids aren't stupid. You've been blaming them for years. Time to face up the truth: YOU. CAN'T. COACH.

Spork Boy is Getting Stronger

Here is what I posted in the T-Nation forums about my current training program.

While attending Test Fest, I was the fortunate recipient of three months of complimentary training from Mike Robertson. Several T-Nation members--okay, maybe two--wanted me to chronicle my progress in the forums.

So here it is.

I want to add an important disclaimer about posting my progress. You may find that my posts will lack specifics about my program. This is for two reasons as laid out by Coach Robertson himself:

1 - People pay Mike to design customized programs and his customer base probably wouldn't like knowing that his programs are just all over the Internet for anyone to use, free of charge.

2 - Some of you might look at my program and think, "This fucking sucks! I write better programs than Robertson." However, Mike knows all about me--my situation, my goals, my health--and has a long-term plan in mind. What he's designed for me is perfect for my current situation and where I'm going.

That said, I will answer any questions you have about what I'm doing as long as they don't violate the two rules. I appreciate your understanding.

So let's begin.
==================================
For the first step, I completed an assessment detailing my goals, prior training, any health issues. Here is my initial e-mail to Mike (please forgive the length):

Here is the requested assessment information. It's a bit long, but I felt some of the information needed to be told.

My Current Training Program
I believe a little history about my workout history before I get into my current workout is in order. I tried for the majority of 2005 to get in shape. I struggled with allergy-induced infections that would lay me out for one to two weeks at a time, nullifying any workouts I would do. I played basketball and lifted when my body let me. I got that part under control with allergy medicine. So all's well that ends well, right?

In the late summer, I felt some pretty severe pain in my back and began seeing a chiropractor who also performs ART on me. Part of my treatment is to wear a 5mm lift to balance out my hips. I have an 8mm difference between my leg lengths. The lift has helped things out. Additionally, my L2 or L3, I can't recall which at the moment, is wonky and he's still working on straightening it out.

He didn't want me to lift so I began to swim. I stopped seeing him for a few months and finally said, "Screw it." My weight at the time was 228 pounds and I decided to take matters into my own hands.

I picked up Lou Schuler's book The Testosterone Advantage Plan and felt the workouts would have a limited affect on my back. I even asked Lou for his non-medical opinion on the matter and he concurred that my back should be okay, but to ask my doc if I had concerns.

With my mind made up and plan in hand, I set out. On November 7, I began a 10-day version of the Velocity Diet to jumpstart the process. I then began the Testosterone Advantage Plan (TAP) a few days later. To date, I've lost 28 pounds and the pain in my back is lessoning. I'm back to seeing my chiropractor and he continues with adjustments and ART.

This may be more information than you asked for, but I felt you should know that I've not been lifting consistently for a long time and I do have an existing back problem.

I just finished phase two of TAP. This phase lasted three weeks and consisted of the following:

Workout A
W1-Barbell Bench Press
W2-Cable Row
X1-Lat Pulldown
X2-Barbell Shoulder Press
Y1-Lying Triceps Extension with EZ Bar
Y2-Preacher Curl
Z1-Dumbbell External Rotation
Z2-Swiss-Ball Crunch

Workout B
X1-Leg Press
X2-Leg Curl
Y1-Leg Extension
Y2-Back Extension
Z1-Seated Calf Raise
Z2-Reverse Crunch

Over three weeks, I alternated the workouts--workout A on Monday, workout B on Wednesday, etc. The lifts were performed as super sets as indicated by the letters. For each exercise, I performed three sets at 8-12 reps. When I hit 12 reps for a lift, I increased the weight. The first set was usually used as a warm-up and had lighter weight. I had a 60 second rest between sets and exercises. I have phase one and two written down and can provide that information if you need it.

My Current Goals
My current goals have primarily consisted of losing fat while not losing muscle and strengthening my back. I'm not concerned with getting hyooge right now but I do want to get stronger.

I also set a goal of returning to the basketball court when I reached 190 pounds. There's not much significance in the number other than it means I will have lost another 10 pounds and put in another four weeks or so of strength training to support my back.

To that end, these would be my current goals:

1. Lose body fat
2. Get strong (maintain my muscle)
3. Get functional by strengthening my core
4. Get back on the basketball court
5. Dunk


Final Thoughts
As you put together my program, I'm a little hesitant to do any Olympic-style lifts if you're thinking of using them. First, my chiro doesn't want me to do dead lifts. I think he personally hates them more than he's actually worried about my back, but it bears mentioning. Secondly, never having done any Olympic-style lifts, I wouldn-t want to start out doing any of them incorrectly.

From that rambling message, Mike put together a lifting, flexibility, and posture rehab program. Here are the basics of what I'm doing:

* Train 3 times per week with weights
* Do posture/prehab/rehab work 3 times per week (minimum)
* Perform cardio 3 tims per week for about 20 minutes

More specifically:
1 - Perform the dynamic flex/spinal flossing before each workout to get me prepped and ready to go.

2 - The training program. For the first phase, I'm lifting three times a week on non-consecutive days while alternating "A" and "B" workouts as before. He managed to mesh several goals into one program (fat loss, get the back healthy, and start bringing up the strength). Once I get totally healthy, the programming will change.

3 - Perform posture/prehab/rehab work at least three times per week on non-consecutive days.

After several rounds of questions to get an understanding of his training style and further explanations about lifts and stretches, I hit the gym last Tuesday.

My next post will start to talk about my impressions and results from my first week of training.

Thanks for reading and I hope somebody will find this worth reading and even benefit from it.

I'm going to try to update the blog and forum thread with similar information. Check back to either spot.

A Fitness Fad for Everyone

The ladies in this photo are:
A) The Rockettes rehearsing a new routine
B) Saving a ton of money on their car insurance by switching to Geico
C) Participating in one of the nation's hotest fitness trends: Stiletto Strength

If you guessed C, laugh and cry along with me because Stiletto Strength is one of eight fitness trends highlighted in a Forbes article:

"Stiletto Strength" classes consist of a 30-minute routine of Pilates and strength training, with the last 15 minutes spent strutting around in 3-inch heels. But instead of being a class for training aspiring dominatrixes, it actually turned out to be a strength and stretch class that used classical dance moves to tone the legs.

Other new trends include Gyrotonic training, which combines principles from yoga, dance, gymnastics, swimming and tai chi on machines from the middle ages and Intensati, which inspires members to live balanced lives through a blend of meditation and martial arts.

You can check out what passes for fitness crazes these days by clicking here. For a real laugh, check out the extensive list of fitness classes offered on the Crunch Fitness Gyms web site, the originator of Stiletto Strength. Personally, I'm dying to try Disco Yoga.

With Allis Like These, Who Needs Enemas?

I'm just going to blatantly rip off something Lou Schuler wrote over at his blog:

The big news today: An FDA panel has recommended that the manufacturer of a prescription fat-blocking pill be allowed to sell it over the counter in the U.S.

The pill has a kind of cool generic name -- Orlistat -- and a cheesy trade name: Xenical. It'll be sold under yet another name, Alli, which sounds like half of a famous comedy team -- the wrong half for a weight-loss pill.

Orlistat sounds almost regal to me ("Your highness, I present the Duke of Orlistat"), which is appropriate, considering the entire point of the drug is to send more of what you eat down the porcelain throne before your body has a chance to absorb it.

Actions like this just boggle my mind. A prescription drug with minimal benefits and disgusting and discomforting side effects has passed the first step towards being sold over the counter just because there is an obesity epidemic. Yet, supplements like ephedra that are known to work and have fewer side effects are banned because the FDA doesn't regulate them.

Puh-leez. This is just continues to show how deep our government's hands are in the pockets of druge companies.

From the Washington Post article:

Here's what else you need to know about Orlistat, which GSK plans to market as Alli:

It won't work alone . Orlistat makes "weight loss easier, but not effortless," says Gary Foster, clinical director of the University of Pennsylvania's Weight and Eating Disorders Program. Foster worked with GSK to develop an online, year-long weight loss plan for those who take the drug over-the-counter. "You can't just take the pill and sort of check out," he says, noting that counting calories and increasing physical activity are still important. Plus, Orlistat only is effective when it's taken with food.

Prepare to pay. GSK vice president Steve Burton says that Alli will probably cost "about the same as a soda and a bag of chips," or about $2 to $3 per day. But that's for a 60 milligram dose -- half of what has been modestly effective in clinical trials. Studies show that weight loss is smaller at lower doses. (A 30-day supply of prescription Orlistat runs about $160 or about $6 per day.)

Calories still count . Some people try to avoid Orlistat's side effects by skipping high-fat fare but overeating low-fat or nonfat foods. "If someone complains that they are hungry all the time, they probably should not choose to take Orlistat," Cheskin says.

Plan on taking a multivitamin . Some key vitamins are not well absorbed when Orlistat is used. Among them are vitamins A, D, E and K, which are important for eyesight, bones, immune function and more. Users of Alli will be advised to take a multivitamin daily to make up for the loss.

Figure on long-term usage . Studies show that once the drug is stopped, weight usually returns, suggesting that those who take Alli will likely have to stay on it long-term or cycle on and off it.

Yep, it's a miracle drug. Anything that blocks the absorbtion of vitamins gets my vote as an effective nutritional aid. Oh, and I'm sure this pill won't be misused or abused in any way by people with eating disorders.

My Chummiest Confidante, Annick

This is an actual spam e-mail I received at work. My only edit was to remove the link to some web site:

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I assure you you're going to be really delighted with this! If you decide to get anything, their mailing is sound and quick.

exceedingly law bit the current of my occasionally meditations.
scarce restrain the qualm illustrate of nausea that surged watt through her as the malodorous thing approached her nostrils.

Truly and always yours,

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I love Annick. He/She is always good for a laugh and malodorous things.

The Next Step

"I looked over your program last night, and things are definitely going to be different. How many days per week and how much time do you have per session?"

So wrote Mike Robertson, one of the premier performance coaches in the country and the guy who is currently designing the next three months of my training. For some reason, that phrase, "How many days per week and how much time do you have per session" rather worried me...in a good way.

I won three months of training from Mike Robertson in a raffle while attending Test Fest in Washington, DC. I have no idea what to expect from this guy other than I'm going to work my ass off. I plan on chronicling my progress here so stay tuned.

A Lesson in Body Fat

Here's an important lesson I learned tonight when getting my body fat measure: Use the same person each time you measure.

On January 4, 2005, I measured in at a body fat of 20.7%. I weighed around 219. Since that day, I put on 9 pounds and eventually topped out at 228 before finally getting around to losing weight.

On January 9, 2006, I tipped the scale at 200 pounds. I figured it was time to get my body fat tested again. My pants had been fitting better, my face looked leaner, and I had been receiving compliments at work. Time to quantify my success.

This new gal pinched the everlovin' shit out of me and took measurements that gave me a body fat reading of 22.7%. That's right. I increased my fat mass over the year while still losing weight.

According to her, anyway. She was supportive and explained each person grips differently when taking measurements. As I rub the sore spot on my side I'm thinking, "ya think?" She also told me to come see her in 4-6 weeks to take another reading.

I'm trying hard to keep things in perspective. What I do know is that I've dropped a notch on my belt and can wear 34" waist jeans again instead of only 36". I'm going to stick with that even though right now I'm ready to eat a gallon of ice cream.

And she can bet her smug little personal trainer ass that she'll see me again in 4-6 weeks.