Sometime I Don't Feel Like Moving My Arms

New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less

This is perfect for me today because I don't feel like moving my arms today. Yesterday morning I started a new weight routine, so I'm starting to get sore. Last night, I biked nearly 28 miles in 100 degree heat (plus humidity) at an average pace of 19 mph. This morning, I fought through a tough 2200 meter swim workout.

Well, perfect except that I don't eat those particular brands of foods.

Abdullah Pimp Slaps Bush

It's always fun when your fearless leader begs for somebody else to save his country from its own gluttony.

Bush: Hey there, Ab-dool-AH. How's about doing me a big faver and put out a bit more?

Abdullah: No more oil for you!

Abdullah pimp slaps Bush then spits on him.

The Saudi oil minister, Ali al-Naimi, said the kingdom decided on May 10 to raise production by 300,000 barrels, at the request of customers, and that increase was sufficient.

“Supply and demand are in balance today,” he told a news conference. “How much does Saudi Arabia need to do to satisfy people who are questioning our oil practices and policies?”

Makes me think how this situation parallels the obesity crisis in this country. Rather than make the necessary changes to live a healthy life, most people choose to look to magic bullets or butchery to solve their problems as easily as possible.

I Got Dibs on Ghrelinstat

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm gazing into my crystal ball and predicting that supplement companies looking to profit off of the next weight loss fad will come out with what I call Ghrelinstat:

From MSNBC: A hormone that makes people eat more works by causing food to look tastier.

This natural molecule, named ghrelin, actually improves perception and memory when it comes to food.

"When you go to the supermarket hungry, every food looks better," said researcher Alain Dagher, a neurologist at McGill University in Montreal. "Now, we've found that it is ghrelin that acts on the brain to make food more appealing."

In fact, big pharama is already on the case:

Therapies that disrupt these effects of ghrelin could help fight obesity, the researchers conjectured. However, such treatments might come with unwanted side effects on mood, since they would target the brain's pleasure centers, Dagher said.

"Many drug companies are currently developing ghrelin-blocking drugs as obesity treatments," Dagher said. "However, we show that ghrelin acts on brain areas involved in emotion and motivation. A drug that suppresses this brain system runs the risk of causing depressed mood. There is a risk of side effects."

Side effects, shnide effects. Drug companies don't give a rip about side effects. Look at Alli. It prevents the body from absorbing about a quarter of the fat you eat. Side effects? Just some slight anal seepage lovingly called "treatment effects."

All that matters is how much money can be made by capitalizing off of people's willingness to do nothing and still lose weight. The FDA will force drug companies to slowly bring a product to market, however supplement companies are not under such regulations. I'll wager that somebody is already writing marketing copy for their potential new supplement: It's Not Your Fault You're Fat! Speaking of, I'd better get over to the copyright office and register the name Ghrelinstat.

(Pssst. Want to lose weight fast the right way? Try this.)

Of Course It Works!

Five Philadelphia elementary schools replaced sodas, candy, and snack with wise food choices, juice, and good nutrition education. The result? Sit down, because you're going to be shocked:

After two years, besides fewer new overweight children, the overall number of overweight students at the five schools dropped about 10 percent to 15 percent. At the no-change schools, the number of overweight children rose a quarter to 20 percent.

I hope this evidence carries over to a more nation-wide effort for educating children on nutrition. Seems pretty simple, really:

“We found when you give children healthy choices, they pick them,” said Grace McGinley, school nurse at Francis Hopkinson School, one of the test schools.

Let's hope the next administration is way smarter than a fifth grader and get serious about childhood obesity.

Another Casualty of the Obesity Crisis

It appears that the world is getting too big for the It's a Small Word ride at Disneyland:

Heavier-than-anticipated loads have been causing the boats to come to a standstill in two different spots, allowing for an extra-long gander at the Canadian Mounties and the Scandinavian geese, said Al Lutz, whose website MiceAge first reported the refurbishment plans.

"If these boats get stuck . . . they have to send someone back in there to lighten the load on the boat," said Lutz, who has been on the ride when a guest or two was asked to disembark.

"They've even built a platform next to that [Mounties] curve because they've had so many problems."

Disneyland plans to add an inch of depth to the water channel and design more-buoyant boats, Lutz said.

Of course, it's not the expanding waist lines of Americans and tourists. It's the "layers and layers of fiberglass have built up where maintenance teams have patched and re-patched problem areas, said Disneyland Resort spokesman Bob Tucker."

Layers of fiberglass. Riiiight. That would explain the need to redesign many of its costumes and to start stocking them in larger sizes to accommodate ever-expanding waistlines of the cast members (Disney doesn't have employees. They're called cast members. It's all a big show, you know?).

But here is the insult that gets added to the injury:

So when somebody gets booted from the boat, Lutz said, Disneyland ride operators make sure the guests don't leave disappointed: They hand them a food ticket.

Overweight tourists getting free food tickets? At the rate the world is growing these days, it will be a large world, after all.

Sounds like it's time to head over to The Little Land of Duff ride where allowances for extra weight are built into the ride's design. But then there's that song.