Faith-Based Initiative Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope

Maybe there is hope yet in this battle against stupidity and the Bush's administration's blatant defiance of the separation of church and state:

States Reject Abstinence-Only Funding From Federal Government

WASHINGTON — Skeptical states are shoving aside millions of federal dollars for abstinence education, walking away from the program the Bush administration touts for slowing teen sexual activity. Barely half the states are still in, and two more say they are leaving.

Some $50 million has been budgeted for this year, and financially strapped states might be expected to want their share. But many have doubts that the program does much, if any good, and they're frustrated by chronic uncertainty that it will even be kept in existence. They also have to chip in state money in order to receive the federal grants.

Iowa Gov. Chet Culver, a Democrat, made his decision to leave based on the congressionally mandated curriculum, which teaches "the social, psychological and health gains of abstaining from sexual activity." Instructors must teach that sexual activity outside of marriage is likely to have harmful psychological and physical effects.

"It was just too strict," said Emily Hajek, policy adviser to Culver. "We believe local providers have the knowledge to teach what's going to be best in those situations, what kind of information will help those young people be safe. You cannot be that prescriptive about how it has to be taught."

A federal tally shows that participation in the program is down 40 percent over two years, with 28 states still in. Arizona and Iowa have announced their intention to forgo their share of the federal grant at the start of the fiscal year that begins Oct. 1.

[snip]

Longtime critics of abstinence-only education say the dwindling participation is a signal that Congress should abolish the program or change it.

"If Congress isn't getting that message, it's difficult to figure out what will convince them," said William Smith, vice president for public policy at the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States.

Since most of Congress has its collective heads up Bush's ass, I doubt the message will get though. Still, it is an encouraging sign. But lo! All good news about the battle to defend the Constitution must be taken with a grain of salt.

From God is for Suckers:

Another typical stunt pulled by the Bush administration, once again subverting the taxpayers’ money to religious groups who have no business getting any tax money to support their blatant prosyletization efforts. Bush and his regime is going to push this faith-based bullcrap agenda as one commenter put it right “down to the wire, to the very last day and hour of being in power.”

Read the entire post to learn about how the U.S. Department of Justice awarded part of a $1.2 million grant to an evangelical Christian organization, Victory Outreach, whose mission is to carry “the hope and message of Jesus Christ to the four corners of the earth."

A commenter from the site summed things up nicely:

At least as far as this issue goes, it will be like the tagline for Aliens vs. Predator: No matter who wins, we lose.

Calling the Kettle Barack

It appears James Dobson, super christian fundamentalnutjob, has his bible belt too tight around his waist these days:

James Dobson accuses Obama of `distorting' Bible

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. - As Barack Obama broadens his outreach to evangelical voters, one of the movement's biggest names, James Dobson, accuses the likely Democratic presidential nominee of distorting the Bible and pushing a "fruitcake interpretation" of the Constitution.

The criticism, to be aired Tuesday on Dobson's Focus on the Family radio program, comes shortly after an Obama aide suggested a meeting at the organization's headquarters here, said Tom Minnery, senior vice president for government and public policy at Focus on the Family.

The conservative Christian group provided The Associated Press with an advance copy of the pre-taped radio segment, which runs 18 minutes and highlights excerpts of a speech Obama gave in June 2006 to the liberal Christian group Call to Renewal. Obama mentions Dobson in the speech.

"Even if we did have only Christians in our midst, if we expelled every non-Christian from the United States of America, whose Christianity would we teach in the schools?" Obama said. "Would we go with James Dobson's or Al Sharpton's?" referring to the civil rights leader.

Dobson took aim at examples Obama cited in asking which Biblical passages should guide public policy — chapters like Leviticus, which Obama said suggests slavery is OK and eating shellfish is an abomination, or Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, "a passage that is so radical that it's doubtful that our own Defense Department would survive its application."

"Folks haven't been reading their," Obama said.

Dobson and Minnery accused Obama of wrongly equating Old Testament texts and dietary codes that no longer apply to Jesus' teachings in the New Testament.

"I think he's deliberately distorting the traditional understanding of the Bible to fit his own world view, his own confused theology," Dobson said.

The funny part is that Christians do exactly that: distort the bible to fit their world view.

Of course, Obama dismisses Dobson's criticism like he should:

Barack Obama said Tuesday that evangelical leader James Dobson was "making stuff up" when he accused the presumed Democratic presidential nominee of distorting the Bible.

Politicians and religious nutjobs making stuff up? I never! I just wish Obama didn't have to be politically correct in his dismissal of Dobson. I honestly believe he would earn thousands of moderate Christian votes if he just said what we all think: "Shut the f*** up, you lunatic!"

And No, that title is not being blatantly racist by injecting a bad, stereotype Chinese accent for the word "black." It did make me giggle a little, though.

The Secret to Becoming a Plastic Duck

A page from what appears to be a desktop calendar for The Secret was sitting on the toilet paper dispenser in the men's room today.

Live your dream in your heart and let the Universe move everything to bring your dream to you. Feel your dream, feel the presence of the Universe inside you, KNOW that the Universe is with you, guiding you, and then allow the Universe to realize your dream.

Profound. I felt so inspired that I dreamed for some buxom elven maidens to appear and wipe my bottom with silken toilet paper. I felt that dream, baby. I felt the presence of the Universe inside me. I just KNEW the Universe was with me and that it would realize my dream for me.

Alas, the only presence I felt was my skin growing around the toilet seat from sitting on my ass and dreaming. And the only bottom wiping being done was by my own hand with a substance as far removed from silk as possible (probably two notches above sand paper). And you are very welcome for that imagery.

For an appropriate smack-down of this nonsense, check out The Atomic Dog in his article My Speech to the Graduates, 2007.

And sure, The Secret "helps" people, but I'm going to quote Karl Marx here and proclaim that The Secret is the opium of the people. People who believe in The Secret surrender responsibility. They don't need hard work or resolve or perspiration, The Secret will provide all. They're all plastic ducks that have cast themselves onto the mercies of the ocean.

If you're vulnerable to every false god that comes along, you're pretty much doomed to be a 7-11 clerk...4EAE. (That's "forever and ever" to you non-texting people.) And not even a dayshift 7-11 clerk. No, you won't be good enough for "the show." You'll work the night shift and when some punk slips a 12-count box of Bud underneath his parka, you'll look the other way lest he use your rectum as a bottle opener.

If you're prone to every false god that comes along, you're emotionally and intellectually weak. You're a plastic duck.

For fun, I replaced "the Universe" with "God" and got essentially what makes up good Christian dogma: Just ask God to do things for you and it will happen. Never mind hard work, planning, and determination. Simply pray, or dream, for something and it will be delivered to you, no effort required on your part (except a little faith that no effort on your part is required).

But perhaps what disturbed me the most is that I found this in the men's room. In a stall. Was some dude (duck?) meditating on this while he pooped? What a way to treat your holy text.

And in that spirit, I used the sheet to wipe myself. Seemed like a more appropriate use of my time.

Quack. Quack.

Jezus is Ripped, Dude!!!

Seriously. If you were a god, would you like to be honored by this t-shirt, worn by fans who watch mixed martial arts fighting? Unless I was a Viking god or an old time Roman or Greek god of war, I'd be quite offended by this. Or at least puzzled.

Jezus is pretty ripped, though. So is Satan.

Is this Where the Virgins Come From?

I guess everyone needs a hobby.

VATICAN CITY - Pope Benedict thanked consecrated women virgins gathering at the Vatican on Thursday for their "total gift" to Christ, praising a holy rite that he recognized was difficult for some non-Catholics to understand.

"(Live your lives) in such a way that you always irradiate the dignity of being the wife of Christ," the pope said in an address to hundreds of consecrated virgins from dozens of countries meeting in Rome.

There are several things I can think of doing that would be more fun that not having sex so I can be "wed" to a zombie. Slicing my skin with a razor blade and pour lemon juice on the wound comes to mind.

The article states that it is estimated there are more than 3,000 consecrated Catholic virgins worldwide.

But reading this made me wonder if its from this pool--and what a small pool it is--that the 72 virgins are pulled that Muslim men supposedly receive in the afterlife. Won't they be disappointed? "Wait. You're WHAT?"

Meeting Sydney McGee

Last night at the Barnes & Nobel at Preston and Park, I ran into Sydney McGee. "Who is that?" you're asking. Ms. McGee is a former art teacher from Frisco, TX, who was fired because an elementary student she took to a museum on a field trip saw abstract art of nekkid people.

Seriously.

Here's a recap from a NY Times article:

But Ms. McGee, 51, a popular art teacher with 28 years in the classroom, is out of a job after leading her fifth-grade classes last April through the Dallas Museum of Art. One of her students saw nude art in the museum, and after the child’s parent complained, the teacher was suspended.

Although the tour had been approved by the principal, and the 89 students were accompanied by 4 other teachers, at least 12 parents and a museum docent, Ms. McGee said, she was called to the principal the next day and “bashed.”

She later received a memorandum in which the principal, Nancy Lawson, wrote: “During a study trip that you planned for fifth graders, students were exposed to nude statues and other nude art representations.” It cited additional complaints, which Ms. McGee has challenged.

I found her to be a really nice woman and I gave her encouraging words, telling her that the firing was unjust and that I hope she can eventually find work again. That work, however, will have to be found in Austin as she is trying to sell her house. She told me she is unhireable in Dallas because she's too controversial. I would have loved to sit and talk with her, but I had my daughter with me and she couldn't stand still and it was late.

Best of luck, Sydney! I think you'll find Austin to be more receptive to rational thinking and artistic interpretation.

Happy National Day of Wishful Thinking

Happy National Day of Prayer!

Read some great take downs of this ridiculous day at Pharyngula, God is for Suckers (here and here), and Atheist Revolution. Here's a better way to spend the day: The National Day of Reason.

My Tax Dollars at Work?

In the name of chicken sandwiches, I hope my tax dollars are not being used for this:

WASHINGTON - President Bush has quite a birthday present for Pope Benedict XVI: at least 9,000 excited guests gathered on the White House's South Lawn for a 21-gun salute, a famed soprano's rendition of "The Lord's Prayer" and an emotional presidential welcome.

The pontiff turns 81 on Wednesday, the first full day of his first trip to the United States as leader of the world's Roman Catholics. He'll spend most of the day at the White House, only the second pope to do so and the first in 29 years.

The amount of media coverage for the pope's visit is astonishing and nauseating. This guy is no different than any other religious leader, but I wager that no imam or hindu swami would be given this kind of treatment. I'm hopeful that in my lifetime the influence this worthless position has on the world will diminish. Must be the hats because the only things the pope spouts are stupidity, hatred, bigotry, and nonsense.

Nauseating Update:

Bush showed off America to its important visitor, ticking off what he said are its best virtues: a nation of prayer and compassion, a nation that believes in religious liberty and welcomes the role of faith in the public square, and one that is the most "innovative, creative and dynamic country on Earth" but also among the most religious.

"Most of all, Holy Father, you will find in America people whose hearts are open to your message of hope," Bush said.

But while acting the proud father, Bush also seemed to suggest that America could use a little tough talking-to by the pontiff.

"In a world where some treat life as something to be debased and discarded, we need your message that all human life is sacred and that each of us is willed, each of us is loved, and each of us is necessary," the president said, drawing sustained applause from the lawn.

That this is front page news is vomitous. That I'm actually reading it is worse.

Eternal Life

Eternal life eligibility, according my daughter:

The only people who can live for ever are Santa and Jesus...and Mrs. Clause.

I laughed.

What? Santa can live forever. Who else brings all those presents?

We are reading about ancient Egypt civilization and their belief that they could live forever. Makes me wonder what will happen when she finally comes to the realization that Santa doesn't exist. Will she make the logical jump about Jesus? I can only hope.

Now That's Irony: Abortions Highest Where Religion is Highest

Austin Cline at About.com has a nice analysis about an article first published in The Guardian.

Abortions Highest Where Religion is Highest
Given how opposition to legal abortion is almost entirely based on religious dogma, one might think that areas where belief in religious dogma is highest will be areas where abortion is lowest. That, however, is incorrect - abortion rates are highest in places where religiosity is highest but lowest in more secular areas. This is not an incidental correlation: not only does it disprove the popular idea that secularism destroys the moral values which oppose abortion, but it points to how religion itself can make demand for abortion higher.

While I'm not taking this as, if you'll excuse the expression, the end-all gospel, I will say that this is just another nail in the coffin of the "moral superiority" that is religion. The more religious leaders try to control their flocks, the worse things get.

Texas + Religion = Stupidity

Here are a couple of reasons why religion in Texas continues to f*** up this state.

From Newsweek:
Texas produces more carbon emissions than most countries, but the state government and business community don't seem too concerned.

Were the Lonestar State to secede from the union it would be the world's eighth-largest emitter of the greenhouse gas carbon dioxide, just behind Canada, with 630 million metric tons spewed into the atmosphere in 2005, according to new figures released this week by the U.S. government's Energy Information Administration. That's actually a reduction of 40 million metric tons since 2003, when Texas was the globe's seventh-largest CO₂ contributor. But even though the state is improving, Texas still outpaces the combined emissions of California and Pennsylvania, the states with the second- and third-highest CO₂ outputs.

And why does Texas continue to lead the nation in carbon emissions? It is the nation's leading producer of energy, and with more cattle and oil refineries than any other state, it is essentially America's power plant, gas pump and beef basket. That's well and good. However, it's Governor Rick Perry, a right-wing religious nut job who swallows everything his buddy President Bush feeds him, who continuously holds things back:

But to many Texans, environmental activism looks too much like big government threatening the state's business interests. Under Republican Gov. Rick Perry, Texas has dug in its heels when it comes to enacting any state initiatives aimed at cutting emissions or promoting efficiency. Perry publicly doubts that global warming is a manmade problem—something his predecessor George W. Bush has acknowledged—and pokes fun at those who do. Last year Perry remarked that Al Gore's mouth is the country's leading source of carbon dioxide, not Texas.

In another show of blind stupidity, there's a chance than a school board electron from the 11th District could elect a creation science supporter:

Board member Pat Hardy, R-Fort Worth, is being challenged in the GOP primary by Cleburne urologist Barney Maddox, a critic of the theory of evolution who calls it a "myth" on a creation science Web site and who once testified that Texas schoolchildren are "brainwashed" into believing in evolution.

PZ Meyers from Pharyngula sums this up nicely:

There's a school board election in District 11 of Texas that has a clear choice: Pat Hardy is the pro-science candidate, despite being a conservative, religious Baptist, while her opponent is a deranged lunatic who is quietly outspending her 12:1 while avoiding the public eye altogether. You do not want to vote for Barney Maddox — he is an "ill-informed nutcase".

Isn't this weird? Here in Minnesota, we're affected by the outcomes of local school board races in Texas — allowing ignorant, raving lunatics to make textbook decisions there is going to shape the choices we get to make here. So if you know any Texans, spread the word: Barney Maddox is bad news.

If he wins, I suppose that means Texas will be teaching kids crappy science who in turn, if they grow up to be scientists, will continue to ignore the issue of global warming because destroying Texas and the world will more quickly bring about the return of geezus.

It's okay to weep for us Texas. I won't mind. In fact, I'm about to do that myself.

UPDATE: Intelligence and reason won in the school board election! There's hope for this state yet.

Looking Good for Jesus

It's wonderful when blog posts simply write themselves.

From MSNBC: SINGAPORE - A cosmetics range with cheeky taglines that extolled the virtues of "Looking Good for Jesus" has been pulled from stores in Singapore after some Roman Catholics complained the items were disrespectful, a newspaper reported Tuesday.

Promising to "Redeem your reputation and more," the product line included a "virtuous vanilla"-flavored lip balm and a "Get Tight with Christ" hand and body cream, as well as bags and other items sold by British retailer Topshop and produced by Blue Q, The Straits Times said.

[snip]

On the packaging of one of the products, Jesus, wearing a bright white robe, looks heavenward while a blonde, heavily made-up woman with an arm draped across his shoulder gazes dreamily at his face.

So how does one go about redeeming one's reputation? It's easier than you think.

This is great. No more boring and embarrassing trips the confessional. Simply apply the virtuous lip balm and think pure thoughts...well, until the next hot date. Unfortunately, this kit doesn't put an END to sinning. It just takes the edge off of it. No wonder the word "Repeat" is in bold, red letters.

Come on Spaghetti Monster!

From MSNBC:

Indeed, the tale of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and its followers cuts to the heart of the one of the thorniest questions in religious studies: What defines a religion? Does it require a genuine theological belief? Or simply a set of rituals and a community joining together as a way of signaling their cultural alliances to others?

A great read that asks a simple question about the origin of religion: am I part of something bigger?

Lucas Johnston, the third Florida student, argues the Flying Spaghetti Monsterism exhibits at least some of the traits of a traditional religion _ including, perhaps, that deep human need to feel like there's something bigger than oneself out there.

He recognized the point when his neighbor, a militant atheist who sports a pro-Darwin bumper sticker on her car, tried recently to start her car on a dying battery.

As she turned the key, she murmured under her breath: "Come on Spaghetti Monster!"

And may you be touched by His noodly appendage. Ramen.