This Frog Makes Me Laugh

The image of this frog makes me all happy inside. I'm not sure why. One reason may be that it reminds me of how a good buddy of mine looks when he's drunk (minus the egg). The other may be that this bit of artwork has the Pope and all his little robe-wearing teetotalers all in a tizzy:

The Vatican wrote a letter of support in the pope's name to Franz Pahl, president of the regional government who opposed the sculpture.

"Surely this is not a work of art but a blasphemy and a disgusting piece of trash that upsets many people," Pahl told Reuters by telephone as the museum board was meeting.

The Vatican letter said that the work "wounds the religious sentiments of so many people who see in the cross the symbol of God's love."

Pahl, whose province is heavily Catholic, was so outraged by the sculpture of the pop-eyed amphibian that he went on a hunger strike to demand its removal and had to be taken to hospital during the summer.

Hunger strike? Over a frog? Geezus H. F***ing Buddha. Here's hoping that reason and free artistic expression win out in the end.

Art experts defended the work.

"Art must always be free and the artist should not have any restrictions on freedom of expression," Claudio Strinati, a superintendent for Rome's state museums, told an Italian newspaper on Thursday.

How can you look at the frog and not smile? Just look at his cute little drunken face.

I can think of worse things done to a frog, namely shoving lighted M80 firecrackers down their gullet as a kid. And I can tell you those acts were most certainly NOT done in the name of art but in the name of destruction.

Awkward Olympic Headline

Hooker wins pole vault gold for Australia

I had no idea prostitutes were so adept with poles:

BEIJING - Steve Hooker of Australia has won the gold medal in the men's pole vault, Australia's first in track and field at the Beijing Olympics.

Hooker cleared 5.90 (19-4 1/4) on his third attempt in Friday night's final, immediately after world indoors champion Yevgeniy Lukyanenko of Russia had failed at his last attempt on the same height and took silver at 5.85 (19-2 1/4).

Hooker was attempting an Olympic record 5.96 (19-6 1/2).

Denys Yurchenko of Ukraine cleared 5.70 (18-8 1/4) and still was eligible at greater heights but withdrew with an injury and settled for bronze.

The irony is that Hooker is a dude.

Testing Block Quotes

I wanted to see if I can do block quotes from the e-mail posting feature.

Testing block quote where I put something in a block quote.

I have ended the block quote.

Now I'm trying to post a picture. I'm not sure where it will end up, but this is where I want it to land.

 

Test Posting

This is me trying out e-mail blogging.

Test

Test

Faith-Based Initiative Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope

Maybe there is hope yet in this battle against stupidity and the Bush's administration's blatant defiance of the separation of church and state:

States Reject Abstinence-Only Funding From Federal Government

WASHINGTON — Skeptical states are shoving aside millions of federal dollars for abstinence education, walking away from the program the Bush administration touts for slowing teen sexual activity. Barely half the states are still in, and two more say they are leaving.

Some $50 million has been budgeted for this year, and financially strapped states might be expected to want their share. But many have doubts that the program does much, if any good, and they're frustrated by chronic uncertainty that it will even be kept in existence. They also have to chip in state money in order to receive the federal grants.

Iowa Gov. Chet Culver, a Democrat, made his decision to leave based on the congressionally mandated curriculum, which teaches "the social, psychological and health gains of abstaining from sexual activity." Instructors must teach that sexual activity outside of marriage is likely to have harmful psychological and physical effects.

"It was just too strict," said Emily Hajek, policy adviser to Culver. "We believe local providers have the knowledge to teach what's going to be best in those situations, what kind of information will help those young people be safe. You cannot be that prescriptive about how it has to be taught."

A federal tally shows that participation in the program is down 40 percent over two years, with 28 states still in. Arizona and Iowa have announced their intention to forgo their share of the federal grant at the start of the fiscal year that begins Oct. 1.

[snip]

Longtime critics of abstinence-only education say the dwindling participation is a signal that Congress should abolish the program or change it.

"If Congress isn't getting that message, it's difficult to figure out what will convince them," said William Smith, vice president for public policy at the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States.

Since most of Congress has its collective heads up Bush's ass, I doubt the message will get though. Still, it is an encouraging sign. But lo! All good news about the battle to defend the Constitution must be taken with a grain of salt.

From God is for Suckers:

Another typical stunt pulled by the Bush administration, once again subverting the taxpayers’ money to religious groups who have no business getting any tax money to support their blatant prosyletization efforts. Bush and his regime is going to push this faith-based bullcrap agenda as one commenter put it right “down to the wire, to the very last day and hour of being in power.”

Read the entire post to learn about how the U.S. Department of Justice awarded part of a $1.2 million grant to an evangelical Christian organization, Victory Outreach, whose mission is to carry “the hope and message of Jesus Christ to the four corners of the earth."

A commenter from the site summed things up nicely:

At least as far as this issue goes, it will be like the tagline for Aliens vs. Predator: No matter who wins, we lose.

Calling the Kettle Barack

It appears James Dobson, super christian fundamentalnutjob, has his bible belt too tight around his waist these days:

James Dobson accuses Obama of `distorting' Bible

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. - As Barack Obama broadens his outreach to evangelical voters, one of the movement's biggest names, James Dobson, accuses the likely Democratic presidential nominee of distorting the Bible and pushing a "fruitcake interpretation" of the Constitution.

The criticism, to be aired Tuesday on Dobson's Focus on the Family radio program, comes shortly after an Obama aide suggested a meeting at the organization's headquarters here, said Tom Minnery, senior vice president for government and public policy at Focus on the Family.

The conservative Christian group provided The Associated Press with an advance copy of the pre-taped radio segment, which runs 18 minutes and highlights excerpts of a speech Obama gave in June 2006 to the liberal Christian group Call to Renewal. Obama mentions Dobson in the speech.

"Even if we did have only Christians in our midst, if we expelled every non-Christian from the United States of America, whose Christianity would we teach in the schools?" Obama said. "Would we go with James Dobson's or Al Sharpton's?" referring to the civil rights leader.

Dobson took aim at examples Obama cited in asking which Biblical passages should guide public policy — chapters like Leviticus, which Obama said suggests slavery is OK and eating shellfish is an abomination, or Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, "a passage that is so radical that it's doubtful that our own Defense Department would survive its application."

"Folks haven't been reading their," Obama said.

Dobson and Minnery accused Obama of wrongly equating Old Testament texts and dietary codes that no longer apply to Jesus' teachings in the New Testament.

"I think he's deliberately distorting the traditional understanding of the Bible to fit his own world view, his own confused theology," Dobson said.

The funny part is that Christians do exactly that: distort the bible to fit their world view.

Of course, Obama dismisses Dobson's criticism like he should:

Barack Obama said Tuesday that evangelical leader James Dobson was "making stuff up" when he accused the presumed Democratic presidential nominee of distorting the Bible.

Politicians and religious nutjobs making stuff up? I never! I just wish Obama didn't have to be politically correct in his dismissal of Dobson. I honestly believe he would earn thousands of moderate Christian votes if he just said what we all think: "Shut the f*** up, you lunatic!"

And No, that title is not being blatantly racist by injecting a bad, stereotype Chinese accent for the word "black." It did make me giggle a little, though.

Sometime I Don't Feel Like Moving My Arms

New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less

This is perfect for me today because I don't feel like moving my arms today. Yesterday morning I started a new weight routine, so I'm starting to get sore. Last night, I biked nearly 28 miles in 100 degree heat (plus humidity) at an average pace of 19 mph. This morning, I fought through a tough 2200 meter swim workout.

Well, perfect except that I don't eat those particular brands of foods.

The Secret to Becoming a Plastic Duck

A page from what appears to be a desktop calendar for The Secret was sitting on the toilet paper dispenser in the men's room today.

Live your dream in your heart and let the Universe move everything to bring your dream to you. Feel your dream, feel the presence of the Universe inside you, KNOW that the Universe is with you, guiding you, and then allow the Universe to realize your dream.

Profound. I felt so inspired that I dreamed for some buxom elven maidens to appear and wipe my bottom with silken toilet paper. I felt that dream, baby. I felt the presence of the Universe inside me. I just KNEW the Universe was with me and that it would realize my dream for me.

Alas, the only presence I felt was my skin growing around the toilet seat from sitting on my ass and dreaming. And the only bottom wiping being done was by my own hand with a substance as far removed from silk as possible (probably two notches above sand paper). And you are very welcome for that imagery.

For an appropriate smack-down of this nonsense, check out The Atomic Dog in his article My Speech to the Graduates, 2007.

And sure, The Secret "helps" people, but I'm going to quote Karl Marx here and proclaim that The Secret is the opium of the people. People who believe in The Secret surrender responsibility. They don't need hard work or resolve or perspiration, The Secret will provide all. They're all plastic ducks that have cast themselves onto the mercies of the ocean.

If you're vulnerable to every false god that comes along, you're pretty much doomed to be a 7-11 clerk...4EAE. (That's "forever and ever" to you non-texting people.) And not even a dayshift 7-11 clerk. No, you won't be good enough for "the show." You'll work the night shift and when some punk slips a 12-count box of Bud underneath his parka, you'll look the other way lest he use your rectum as a bottle opener.

If you're prone to every false god that comes along, you're emotionally and intellectually weak. You're a plastic duck.

For fun, I replaced "the Universe" with "God" and got essentially what makes up good Christian dogma: Just ask God to do things for you and it will happen. Never mind hard work, planning, and determination. Simply pray, or dream, for something and it will be delivered to you, no effort required on your part (except a little faith that no effort on your part is required).

But perhaps what disturbed me the most is that I found this in the men's room. In a stall. Was some dude (duck?) meditating on this while he pooped? What a way to treat your holy text.

And in that spirit, I used the sheet to wipe myself. Seemed like a more appropriate use of my time.

Quack. Quack.

The NBA: Where 1987 Happens

I couldn't agree more with Dan Shanoff:

The Last Word: So I was tuned in to the replay of Game 6 of the 1987 NBA Finals between the Lakers and Celtics, and it did nothing to change my mind that the nostalgia kick around the 2008 Finals is a crutch. I was watching with a rabid sports fan in his 20s, for whom the NBA in the 80s was little more than a blurred childhood memory. "Where 1987 Happens" cannot really be the way the NBA wants to look forward.

I realize that all the executives at ESPN and other sports media outlets are reminiscing about the classic battles from the 80's between the Celtics and the Lakers, but this is 2008. Enough with the nostalgia. And if another ESPN personality calls for both teams to wear short shorts, I think I'm going to throw something at the TV (yes, I'm looking at you, Stuart Scott).

Holy Crap!

Let's be careful out there, please.

(Full Article)

Da Brudders R N Da House!

My buddy's kids are living on the online edge with this humorous take on "The Hand That Feeds" by Nine Inch Nails.

(I have to say, though, that one of Da Brudders looks suspiciously like a Sistah)

'Nuff Said

What I Won't Be Getting My Daughter for Her Birthday

My daughter's seventh birthday is tomorrow. This clever Verizon Wireless commercial humorously explains why ponies aren't such great presents. I got her Hyper Dash so she can stay in shape to get where she wants to go under her own power.

Jezus is Ripped, Dude!!!

Seriously. If you were a god, would you like to be honored by this t-shirt, worn by fans who watch mixed martial arts fighting? Unless I was a Viking god or an old time Roman or Greek god of war, I'd be quite offended by this. Or at least puzzled.

Jezus is pretty ripped, though. So is Satan.

News of the Weird: Naked Mom Argues with Son

File this under "Things That Make You Go AH HA HA HA HA":

Naked mom argues with son, accidentally shoots finger (link)
A 73-year-old Fort Worth woman shot her finger after arguing with her son because she had been walking around the house naked, police said.

Fort Worth police were called to a house in the 5600 block of Decory Road around 1:30 a.m. Friday when they found Bertha McElroy with a bullet wound in her left index finger, according to a police report.

Ms. McElroy was taken to John Peter Smith hospital with non life-threatening injuries.

Police said that Ms. McElroy told them she had gotten into an argument with her son, Keith McElroy, 53, because she had been walking around the house in the nude.

Ms. McElroy told police that after the argument her son walked outside and slammed the door. She then went into the bedroom to load the gun when she shot her finger.

Police said they unloaded the gun and gave it to Mr. McElroy.

Here are some of my general thoughts:

• NOBODY wants to see a 73-year old woman naked. Period. So I can understand why the son lit into his mother.
• It's bad enough to fight with your mother, but to do it while she's naked?
  
• Does the son still live with his mother? Why else would he be fighting with her at 1:30 in the morning. That's just creepy. Get a job and get a life, dude.
• The police gave the gun to the son. "Mr. McElroy, here's the gun your mom wanted to shoot you with. We took out the bullets, but here ya go." Logical? Probably not. Let's now see what happens when mom tries to walk around the house naked again. Advantage: son.
• The headline kind of wrote itself. The story was the icing on the cake.
• There are some pretty messed up people in this world.
  

The Walk of No Shame

Hat tip: The Function Key.

Kewl Retro T-Shirts

Cool retro-tech t-shirts.

Abdullah Pimp Slaps Bush

It's always fun when your fearless leader begs for somebody else to save his country from its own gluttony.

Bush: Hey there, Ab-dool-AH. How's about doing me a big faver and put out a bit more?

Abdullah: No more oil for you!

Abdullah pimp slaps Bush then spits on him.

The Saudi oil minister, Ali al-Naimi, said the kingdom decided on May 10 to raise production by 300,000 barrels, at the request of customers, and that increase was sufficient.

“Supply and demand are in balance today,” he told a news conference. “How much does Saudi Arabia need to do to satisfy people who are questioning our oil practices and policies?”

Makes me think how this situation parallels the obesity crisis in this country. Rather than make the necessary changes to live a healthy life, most people choose to look to magic bullets or butchery to solve their problems as easily as possible.

Is this Where the Virgins Come From?

I guess everyone needs a hobby.

VATICAN CITY - Pope Benedict thanked consecrated women virgins gathering at the Vatican on Thursday for their "total gift" to Christ, praising a holy rite that he recognized was difficult for some non-Catholics to understand.

"(Live your lives) in such a way that you always irradiate the dignity of being the wife of Christ," the pope said in an address to hundreds of consecrated virgins from dozens of countries meeting in Rome.

There are several things I can think of doing that would be more fun that not having sex so I can be "wed" to a zombie. Slicing my skin with a razor blade and pour lemon juice on the wound comes to mind.

The article states that it is estimated there are more than 3,000 consecrated Catholic virgins worldwide.

But reading this made me wonder if its from this pool--and what a small pool it is--that the 72 virgins are pulled that Muslim men supposedly receive in the afterlife. Won't they be disappointed? "Wait. You're WHAT?"

Magic Cat

This made me laugh out loud.