Global Warming is Real

Despite the claims of the current administration and its shaky and disputable "evidence" to the contrary, global warming is real--and taking another scary step forward:

From MSNBC.com: Ancient ice shelf breaks free in Canadian Arctic
TORONTO - A giant ice shelf has snapped free from an island south of the North Pole, scientists said Thursday, citing climate change as a “major” reason for the event.

The Ayles Ice Shelf — all 41 square miles of it — broke clear 16 months ago from the coast of Ellesmere Island, about 500 miles south of the North Pole in the Canadian Arctic.

As I read about this event, I was reminded about a series of excellent articles written about how mankind is pushing the Earth's oceans to the brink and published in Mother Jones magazine. If you have the time, they are worth the read if only to educate yourself on how complex and intricate the oceans are. You can find them here.

And if you want to read some good stuff about other factors on global warming, go here.

OJ Shows Us All What's What

This simply defies all logic, common sense, and decency:

From MSNBC.com: Fox plans to broadcast an interview with O.J. Simpson in which the former football star discusses “how he would have committed” the slayings of his ex-wife and her friend, for which he was acquitted, the network said.

The two-part interview, titled “O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened,” will air Nov. 27 and Nov. 29, the TV network said.

Why? I mean...why? It's impossible to imagine his thought process. He must have some kind of undiagnosed mental illness or delusion. There can be no other explanation why an acquitted murderer would go on national TV and discuss how he would have killed his ex-wife and her friend if he did it.

Here's a funny way to describe this madness:

Hypothetically, let’s say you murdered two people in the early 90’s. Then, hypothetically, a jury of your peers found you Not Guilty despite damning DNA evidence and an alibi with more holes in it than an old pair of gym socks. Hypothetically, let’s say that regardless of the verdict, everybody still suspects you did it (oh, side note: hypothetically, you were one hell of a running back in the NFL, but that’s besides the point.) Wouldn’t you, hypothetically, write a book about how you would’ve done it (if you did it), and appear in a TV special titled If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened. You would, right? Hypothetically.

Well, O.J. would. And he is, during a two-part interview scheduled to air on Fox. Their website already has a killer sneak peek, with O.J. declaring “I don’t think any two people could be murdered without everybody being covered in blood,” before breaking down in tears. Hypothetical tears, I think.

So set your TIVO’s for November 27 & 29. Fox has dubbed it “the interview that will shake the nation.” Because “the interview that will sneak up on the nation and stab them numerous times” would be just a little too much. Hypothetically.

Didn't OJ at one point say that he would devote all his time and money to finding the real killer? Maybe this is his way of saying he found the guy--hypothetically.

The "Secret" to Fat Loss

Here's a little blurb by Alwyn Cosgrove I picked from T-Nation.com:

I can vividly remember doing a photo shoot at our gym with a male client who'd lost 85 pounds of fat and now had a six-pack to show for his efforts. My own gym members came up and asked me what his "secret" was. There is no secret! They seemed to think I'd given him the "real" information and had withheld it from them! He's been given the same advice as I give to everyone else — he just chose to follow it a little more closely. Fat loss isn't under the control of the magic fat loss fairies. It's based on simple changes in behavior.

Pretty simple, eh? Be sure to check out his blog for some of the best fitness advice and knowledge available.

Resurrecting the 80's

A couple of weeks ago, I resurrected Taco's video for "Puttin on the Ritz." Thanks to YouTube, I can raise all sorts of songs from the dead. I give you "One Foot Back in Your Door" by Roman Holiday. Enjoy.

The New American Family

Tonight I enjoyed some dinner with my daughter at Posado's. On our way to the ice cream machine for some self-serve softserve, we passed by a family of five: two parents and three boys. I'm guessing the boy's ages ran from 7 to 12 or 13. So while the parents were eating and talking, the boys were all engaged with their Nintendo Gameboys. Just to be clear, these boys were not taking turns with one Gameboy. Each had their own!

What a wonderful family night out. Way to go mom and dad. You can pat yourselves on the back for getting everybody to the dinner table and spending some quality time together.

What A Pisser

VIENNA, Austria - An Austrian businessman announced Thursday that he would get rid of urinals shaped like a woman's mouth from a public toilet near Vienna's national opera, after facing pressure from politicians who demanded their removal.

The urinals, which are located in the "Opera Toilet," a lavishly decorated public restroom, feature thick, lipsticked lips, a set of teeth and a bright red tongue.

"We think that it's tasteless, misogynistic and offensive," Marianne Lackner, media spokeswoman for the Vienna Department of Women's Affairs told The Associated Press. (full article)

What's ironic is that these urinals have been in place for three years. Only now has somebody raised a stink about them.

This is a telling quote: "The thing that surprises us the most," Lackner said, "is that no man has ever said anything about this."

Tasteless? Yeah. Kinda. Misogynistic? Debatable. Offensive? I can see that.

So why do I want one?

Three Reasons Why I'm A Happy Hoosier

Gordon Commits to Hoosiers: Prize recruit breaks promise with Illinois, stays home
From SI.com:

BLOOMINGTON, Ind. (AP) -- Eric Gordon let his wardrobe and father do the talking Friday night. It was enough to whip an already excitable Hoosiers crowd into a frenzy.

As he walked across the Assembly Hall court dressed in a cream-and-crimson warmup suit, fans chanted his name, sought autographs and snapped photos after news spread that the state's top recruit was staying close to home.

Gordon backed out of his 11-month commitment to the Fighting Illini, giving Kelvin Sampson his first major victory of the season hours before the Hoosiers held their first official practice.

Eric Gordon is the number two-ranked recruit on Scouts.com and the number one guard. He was also the number one recruit coming out of Indiana. It was essential that IU land some in-state talent, a skill which eluded former coach Mike Davis. And one Davis left, Gordon felt Sampson and IU was the better match and allowed him to finally fulfill his dream.

Personally, I'll wait until November 8 when Gordon finally signs his name on the dotted line, but his verbal commitment to IU has fans dreaming of another national championship. I'm certainly dreaming of better things to come.

Indiana Shocks #15 Iowa
From ESPN.com:

BLOOMINGTON, Ind. (AP) -- Indiana waited nearly two decades to party like this. So why worry about another 20 seconds?

Players stormed the field and fireworks went off before the Hoosiers' biggest upset in almost 20 years was official, but there was nothing premature about Saturday's stunning 31-28 upset over No. 15 Iowa.

As officials spotted the ball for the final time, the scoreboard clock was at 22 seconds and with the Hawkeyes out of timeouts, all that remained was a celebration of the Hoosiers' biggest win since beating No. 9 Ohio State 31-10 on Oct. 10, 1987.

I got a chance to watch this game on ESPN2. I couldn't believe how into the game I was. Not since the bowl-bound days of the late 80's when I attended IU have I been this excited about a sport that traditionally has registered nothing more than intramural status in the minds of students. Now, with Coach Terry Hoeppner leading the way and a redshirt freshman running the show, the Hoosiers could be looking at it's first bowl game in more than a decade. The only hiccup could be the fact they lost to a Division I-AA opponent this season. But maybe, just maybe, IU will be the answer to a trivia question instead of having to wait yet another year for a bowl berth.

The Basketball Season Officially Started Saturday, October 14, 2006

From the Indiana Daily Student:

"I'm anxious to start practice tomorrow," Sampson said Friday night before he and his team took the floor. "When your season ends the previous year, you are at such a loss because you don't have a game to get ready for...I'm anxious to get started. (I'm) really excited about this team. I'm pleased with the way they've attacked preseason conditioning. These kids have worked hard, and they are going to work a whole lot harder starting tomorrow."

This is usually a great time of the year. However, with a new chapter of Hoosier basketball starting this year, I have mucho excitement and optimism heading into this season. But it's not all because of what I will get to see as a fan while watching the game. It's because of this:

But Sampson's not interested in the sounds of thousands of screaming fans inside his stadium. Not yet, anyway.

He's too excited about other sounds. Those of whistle blows, basketball dribbles and his players huffing and puffing in the quiet comfort of an Assembly Hall practice.

The Hoosiers are getting back to basics and playing hard-nosed basketball after six years of prima donna pampering. I would love to watch these practices now that Touch Every Line is the new team motto. And that's just for practice!

I must say that the state of Hoosier Nation is pretty good after such an eventful weekend.

Waking Up to Davis's Suckiness

I’ve dedicated a fair amount of blog space to criticizing former Indiana University head basketball coach Mike Davis. And for good reason--he sucked. But you don’t have to take my word for it anymore. Here’s a telling quote from junior guard A.J. Ratliff (emphasis mine):

From the Indianapolis Star:
Ratliff said the discipline is something IU lacked. Now it appears the days of stars like Bracey Wright or Marco Killingsworth doing whatever they please on the court are over.

“If Coach Sampson would have had a hold of Marco (Killingsworth), I think he would have been incredible,” Ratliff said. “But that was something last year’s team lacked, was discipline. Coach Sampson is heavy on that. He doesn’t care who you are. It could be D.J. (White), and he’s going to get on you. Last year, anybody could say anything and (former) coach (Mike) Davis might kick him out for a day, but he’d be back the next day. I think that’s different this year.”

Might kick the player out? Might???

Welcome back to the real world, guys. Just the title of the article ("Workouts wake up IU players") should put a nail in the coffin that was Mike Davis’s coaching ability. And it’s refreshing to see his former players waking up and throwing him under the bus after all the times he refused to accept any responsibility for his crappy coaching. Plus, Ratliff did it in a very tactful way. Bravo, A.J.

Midnight Madness starts tomorrow. The first official practice takes place the next day.

College basketball season is here, people. Life is good.

I Am Animal

A complete lunatic, you're operating on 100% animal instincts. You thrive on uncontrolled energy, and you're downright scary. But you sure can beat a good drum. "Kill! Kill!"

The Muppet Personality Test

I'm a Dorky Child of the 80's

This morning, I’m cruising down the highway with the wind in my hair. It’s such a beautiful morning that the windows HAD to be down. I’ve got the radio cranked as high as it can go. I’m listening to Mix 102.9 as it’s playing hit from 1983.

Suddenly, Taco’s rendition of Irving Berlin’s Puttin' on the Ritz comes on. I’m ecstatic. If the radio could go louder, I would have cranked it even louder. I’m “singing” along with Taco. TACO!!

And still singing when I pull through the toll booth and stop at a traffic signal. The song conveniently ends right when I pull into my garage.

That was fun.

I’m such a dork. And proud of it.

The Daily Show as Substantive as Network News

It's no joke: IU study finds The Daily Show with Jon Stewart to be as substantive as network news:

"It is clearly a humor show, first and foremost," Fox said of Stewart's program. "But there is some substance on there, and in some cases, like John Edwards announcing his candidacy, the news is made on the show. You have real newsmakers coming on, and yes, sometimes the banter and questions get a little silly, but there is also substantive dialogue going on … It's a legitimate source of news."

This is where I go to get the straight poop on the hot button topics of the day. This is also where I go to laugh my ass off. It's win/win!

No Nudes Is Good News

If Texas isn't now officially the big, shiny, obnoxious belt buckle of the Bible Belt, it surely moved one notch closer with this load of crap.

From Truth Dig:

A fifth-grade teacher is out of a job after leading a class through an art museum in Dallas. One of her students saw nude art; the student's parent complained; the teacher is suspended. Even crazier: Local TV stations are blacking out Greek sculpture genitalia during newscasts.

Here's the link to the full New York Times article.

Although the tour had been approved by the principal, and the 89 students were accompanied by 4 other teachers, at least 12 parents and a museum docent, Ms. McGee said, she was called to the principal the next day and "bashed."

She later received a memorandum in which the principal, Nancy Lawson, wrote: "During a study trip that you planned for fifth graders, students were exposed to nude statues and other nude art representations." It cited additional complaints, which Ms. McGee has challenged.

The school board suspended her with pay on Sept. 22.

It just makes me want to poke the eyes out of the parents. Can't people, specifically conservative Christians, finally get a healthy view about human sexuality? Obviously, these people need to listen to a sermon by this guy.

Loosen up people. What's next? Banning children from viewing the Mona Lisa? I mean, look at how she's smiling. She was clearly up to no good.

Wost. Job. Ever.

I would say that Javalin Catcher is officially the worst job ever.

Getting Trashed then Trashing White Trash

Sounds like a bad country song, doesnt it. But it's the odd and oddly appropriate reality of the man considered by many Hoosiers as the next John Mellencamp. From the Indianapolis Star:

Henry Lee Summer, once considered the next big thing in rock from Indiana, was arrested after what authorities called an intoxicated drive through a Far-Eastside mobile home court.

So that's it then. Just bury my childhood now. It’s officially over. First, there was the 20th anniversary of my high school graduating class. Seeing everybody rejuvenated me, but also left painful reminders of how far removed I was from my teens.

Now Henry Lee done got himself arrested for driving crazy in a TRAILER PARK!!!

I'm in denial. Not Hollerin’ Hank! Not the hillbilly with healthiest vocal chords in rock-n-roll.

Shoot. Dang it. Double DANG IT.

This guy was blasting out of the cars of many a teenager during the early 80s. His rock/pop was danceable, rockable, and--not that I was doing it at the time--fuckable. I would see him any time he came to town at the under 18 “club” on the outskirts of town. When you got done attending a Henry Lee Summer concert, you were drenched with sweat, you voice was hoarse, and your ears were ringing. Henry was also easily the ugliest rocker I had seen at the time this side of Bob Dylan and Tom Petty.

And now he done got himself trashed and trashed up the homes of some trailer trash.

“What did he sing,” you might be asking? Did you ever hear a song called I Wish I Had a Girl (that walked like that)? Probably not. That was his biggest hit. He’s also on iTunes, amazingly enough. Be sure to check out the videos. It all just brings a tear to my eye.

So check this guy out:

• Official Web Site
• VH1 Page
• Just check out his hair (oh, those wacky 80s hair dos)

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to dress in black and have a wake. I think there’s some beer in the fridge. Although, I may need something stronger: A Blizzard. A LARGE one.

You can have your Cajun queens
Down in New Orleans
And take the movie stars
Who drive impress me more cars

Take your high class show and tell
Don`t need no modern day Jezebel
All I want, ain`t no lie
Check it out, Leroy
They breeze by

Wish I had a girl who walked like that, ooh, yeah
Wish I had that girl, uh huh
Wish I had a girl who walked like that, yeah
Wish I had that girl, yeah

And the Spork Shall Rise Again

The Spork will rise from ashes and once again soar through the blogosphere.

Not that anybody really cares.

Disney Loses Its Appetite for Happy Meal Tie-Ins - Los Angeles Times

Disney Loses Its Appetite for Happy Meal Tie-Ins - Los Angeles Times

Kudos to Disney for taking this step.

Time Will Tell for Davis

I've been bashing Mike Davis for some time now, especially when decided to play the part of the IU basketball messiah and resign under the guise of "uniting" the program with the fans. I've ripped him several times times here, here, and here.

Now that he's officially the new head coach of the University of Alabama-Birmingham, others outside of Hoosier Nation are taking notice of these things. The Birmingham News columnist Ray Melick has this to say:

Davis is also a better coach than he is often perceived. But is he a good fit for the program? That's the question UAB must answer.

With Davis, people who have worked with him and around him in the Big Ten keep going back to the same issue - emotional immaturity. One Big Ten basketball official said Davis was the most "immature" coach in Division I basketball, which is saying something when you consider the personality of most Division I coaches.

Davis wore his emotions on his sleeve, and it often interfered with the success of his program. Those emotions were visible in games when Davis couldn't let go of a bad call. When things went against him, he seemed to quit coaching in order to keep
complaining, and at times his teams seemed to quit with him.

Off the court, the whole world watched Davis live out a martyr complex as the coach Indiana didn't want. You know the old saying, "Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean everyone isn't out to get you?" While Davis did seem paranoid at times, there were also people at Indiana who did not want him to succeed.

But the main reason Davis finally left Indiana was not because people didn't want him to win, but because his teams didn't win enough, didn't play with a consistent effort, and people got tired of putting up with the brooding and pouting that Davis often did when he was questioned or second-guessed.

Bingo.

Time will tell if Davis turns out to be UAB's messiah or just another stop on his "Be Happy for Me, I'm a Martyr" tour. The locals have certainly welcomed him with open arms and waving palm fronds. Particularly C.M. Newton, Davis's form coach at Alabama:

"Mike's teams at Indiana ran," said C.M. Newton, who coached Davis as a freshman at Alabama. "Now they didn't play the full-court pressure that Mike Anderson's teams played, and he's more of a half-court defensive coach. His will be a fun type of game to watch, jam it inside and go inside-out."

Yeah, well good luck with Davis's style of basketball. We in Hoosier Nation still haven't figured out what the hell we were watching. But like a bad accident, I won't be able to resist checking on UAB. You know, just to make sure I was right about Davis.

Sushi Band-Aids and Other Fun Toys

Just go to Archie McPfee Toys, Gifts & Novelties and enjoy.



My personal favorite? The Jesus Playing Hoops Statue:



Jesus busts out the sky hook, an almost unstoppable move, especially when playing basketball against a couple of little kids. Let everyone know JC is the MVP of your team and place this 7" ceramic statue in your home or office.

Why Kelvin Sampson is the Wrong Man for IU

Here is a super funny blog post from Hoosier Insider blogger, Terry Hutchens about why Kelvin Sampson is not the right man for the IU coaching job.

The best coach available who wanted to come to Indiana University

Not the best way to describe somebody coming to coach your basketball team, but there it was in black and white:

It’s not a good sign when your new coach is described as if he were the last puppy left at the Humane Society. In the awe-uninspiring words delivered by former IU Alumni Association executive council member Keith Hedrick to the Journal-Gazette, Sampson, in athletic director Rick Greenspan’s mind, was “the best coach available who wanted to come to Indiana University.” You definitely want that quote on the cover of next year’s media guide.

Was hiring Kelvin Sampson the best Indiana could do? Did we not even ask all the sexy names out there: Calipari, Few, Beilin, Crean? Or worse—Did these guys turn us down? Turn a coaching job at friggin’ IU down? You just don’t do that…right?

My, how delusional Hoosier Nation must be. We actually believe our own hype that we’re one of the top five basketball schools in the country and that top-tier coaches would be knocking on our door, resumes in hand.

Apparently, we’re not. For starters, IU has one of the worst facilities on the planet. This will have to change. Assembly Hall needed to be demolished 10-years after it was built. It seemed old when I attended I.U. in the late 80’s. Secondly, the athletic department is financially strapped from years of mismanagement and buying out contracts of fired coaches. Third, we’ve sucked over the past 10 years except for that anomoly in 2002.

And fourth, some guy named Bobby Knight and all the stupidity that goes along with legacy. Exhibit number one:

"Greenspan obviously doesn't understand there's more to the tradition of IU basketball than winning basketball games," said Ted Kitchel, a forward on the 1981 national championship team. It's an absolute disgrace. I wouldn't hire that guy to coach my fifth-grade girls team. That guy is absolutely what we don't want at IU."

Who wants to coach in this guy’s ever-present shadow and deal with his rabid supporters?

Kelvin Sampson does.

What’s interesting about this hire is having to stop and think about it. It prevented an emotional reaction either way. For me anyway. Once the shock wore off I read and researched. I read articles written by haters (examples here, here, and here) and supporters (examples here, here, and here) alike. Jason Whitlock wrote a really good one that logically breaks down the hiring as opposed to somebody like Dick Vitale who just spews love and adoration about all things basketball unless it concerns IU not naming the floor at Asembly Hall after the General, Robert Montgomery Knight (just kiss him already, Dick. We all know you love the man.).

I also watched the press conference announcing Sampson as the new coach and listened to a post-conference audio interview of IU's Athletic Director, Rick Greenspan. So far, I like what I’ve read and heard from Sampson, and I’m comfortable with what’s going on with the NCAA violations.

The hiring of Kelvin Sampson has no sex. No sizzle. No wow factor. And maybe that’s what Hoosier Nation really needs right now. We’ve been bitching about results for three years. And throughout his career that’s exactly what Sampson has done—deliver results to the tune of nine straight 20-win seasons in a power conference with Juco transfers, castoffs, and kids of questionable character…and he did it at a football school. I’m salivating at the thought of what he can do with IU’s resources.

Welcome to Hoosier Nation, Coach. You’re one of us now—and I, for one, am glad.

Guilty as Charged

If this doesn't put the final nail in the coffin that was Barry Bond's Hall of Fame career, then we're all idiots.

Barry Bonds plans to sue the authors and publisher of a book that alleges the San Francisco Giants' slugger used steroids and other performance-enhancing drugs.

Bonds' attorneys sent a letter Thursday to an agent for the authors of "Game of Shadows," alerting them of plans to sue the writers, publisher Gotham Books, the San Francisco Chronicle and Sports Illustrated, which published excerpts this month.

"Our client, Barry Bonds, will seek an ex parte application for a temporary restraining order against them, as well as Gotham Books/Penguin USA, Sports Illustrated Magazine and the San Francisco Chronicle," Alison Berry Wilkinson, an associate of Bonds' lead attorney, Michael Rains, wrote in the letter. "This injunctive action will be brought pursuant to California's Unfair Competition Law ... to obtain, in summary, disgorgement of any profits related to or derived from the publication and distribution of the book."

The letter, signed by Wilkinson was posted on the Chronicle's Web site. A hearing was tentatively scheduled for 11 a.m. Friday in San Francisco Superior Court.

"The reason we filed in the lawsuit in the simplest terms possible is to prevent the authors from promoting themselves and profiting from illegal conduct," Rains told The Associated Press on Thursday.

So instead of suing for libel or slander, Barry is suing because the authors obtained the truth illegally.

How much more of a smoking gun can there be?

Who is the Next IU Coach?

Terry Hutchens of the Indianapolis Star has presented a list of the top 10 coaching candidates for the Indiana Hoosiers. Here is his list with my comments included:

1. Mark Few (Gonzaga): He has name recognition, he's a winner and surely it would be easier to recruit players to Indiana than to Gonzaga. His record in seven years with the Zags is 188-40. His name frequently is tossed about, but this might be the job he couldn't turn down. A great choice. It's obvious the man can coach. What he has done at Gonzaga is remarkable. If given the resources of IU, what could he do?

2. Tom Crean (Marquette): He has Big Ten roots at Michigan State and proved he could recruit Indiana when he landed Richmond's Dominic James at Marquette. Crean would be a good face for the program, someone comfortable playing golf with alumni and entertaining at banquets. I wouldn't be disappointed if he was named coach.

3. Billy Gillispie (Texas A&M): He's the new hot name, and you can't discount his success at Texas A&M, a more difficult sell to recruits than IU. He also has Big Ten roots, coaching under Bill Self at Illinois. He's simply a hot name. He needs another year or two of success to be considered an option for a program like IU.

4. Randy Wittman (Orlando, NBA): Again, he would be the right face for the program. The primary concern is that he has never been a college coach or recruited at this level. Recruiting is a top concern, but maybe that's something he could hire an assistant to do. A candidate only an alumni from Wittman's era could love. He lacks coaching experience at the collegiate level. I'm not impressed, even if Mark Cuban is.

5. Alford (Iowa): Even with the disappointing end to the Hawkeyes' season, he has to be in the mix. He's the one guy with college coaching experience at the big-time Division I level who could reunite the fan base and get Indiana fans excited again. Missouri's interest in him could scuttle this scenario. He's out of the running. And I didn't want him anyway.

6. John Calipari (Memphis): It might be a difficult time for him to leave Memphis, but his name is well-known and he could immediately get Indiana back to the elite level. He could certainly make IU back into a major powerhouse. He's done everywhere he's gone. I'm not sure about his priorities about graduating players, though. For a program like IU, this is important.

7. Rick Barnes (Texas): It would be tough to leave that program, but the lure of being the showcase program and not the also-ran to the football team would have to at least be intriguing. The question? Money. I hadn't considered Barnes at all because of his success at Texas. But as stated above, is the lure of being the coach of a showcase program enough of a temptation to leave? I could see him here.

8. Karl Hobbs (George Washington): He's one of the hottest mid-major coaches after building the Colonials into a top-10 team this season. If not Indiana, another big-name school will be calling soon. Eh, another hot coach. He's had one good year that I'm aware of. If he's had a few years of success, then we can talk.

9. Billy Donovan (Florida): Some think he has his eyes on Kentucky if Tubby Smith leaves, but Indiana could give him pause. As may be the case in many of these situations, IU would have to make a serious commitment in terms of facilities. I would love to have Donovan. He's got it all. As stated above, though, Donovan going after a possible opening at Kentucky makes the most sense for him as he would get to stay in the SEC.

10. Brad Brownell (North Carolina-Wilmington): Hoosier native falls into the up-and-coming category. He grew up in Evansville, played on the same high school team as Calbert Cheaney and played college ball at DePauw. The question is: Could he compete for the job with the coaches on this list? No name recognition. No interest from IU. I'm not sure why this guy is even on the list.

Absent from this list is Mike Montgomery, the former Stanford head coach and current coach of the Golden State Warriors. I hope Mongomery is on IU's Athletic Director Rick Greenspan's short list. He made Stanford into a Pac 10 power and a perennial Sweet 16 team. He could probably be lured back into the college game if IU makes some needed upgrades to the facilities, which looked out of date when I attended IU in the late 80's.

My top candidates:

1. Mike Montgomery
2. Mark Few
3. Billy Donovan
4. Tom Crean
5. Rick Barnes

Greenspan is supposed to make his choice in April. I think I'm looking forward the reaction of Hoosier Nation as much as I am finding out who the coach will be.

Don't you love March Madness?

Why Johnny is Fat

It's bad enough that little Johnny has sneakers with built-in wheels so he doesn't have to walk completely across the mall on his way to food court to purchase fried cheese sticks, he can now cruise around the neighborhood on an electric skateboard. This latest fitness trend is brought to you by the fine folks at Exkate.

Fitness? Seriously. This was on display at the Super Show, the annual exhibition-celebration of the Sporting Goods Manufacturers Association held early this year in Orlando, Florida.

If this is what passes for fitness these days, you can bet that current obesity rates in our children will continue to rise.

The Future Looks Bright

Finally, it’s over. The Mike Davis era at Indiana is has mercifully come to an end after a 90-80 loss to Gonzaga in the second round of the NCAA tournament.

I’m sad that the season is over because I love Hoosier basketball. But I was conflicted because I did not want Davis to have any more success that he could call his own and consequently use to pad his resume and use against IU.

I’m fighting the temptation to turn this post into yet another Davis rant. That will be another post. Instead, I’ll keep it short and turn my attention to the future; a future that I’m actually looking forward to — if the right coach is hired.

IU will return a terrific point guard in Earl Calloway who came into his own during last part of the season. During the NCAA tournament he willed IU to a victory over San Diego State in the first round and had a near triple-double in a loss to Gonzaga. He has speed, vision, and can distribute the rock. With the right coach, I can see him being one of top point guards in the nation next year.

D.J. White will return. He has talked about transferring to where ever Davis ends up, but that would require him to sit out an entire year after being sidelined for 90% of this year’s games due to injury. He’ll be back and the former Big Ten Freshman of the Year will be hungry to prove himself ready for the NBA.

IU will also return three other productive players: Ben Allen, Roderick Wilmont, and A.J. Ratliff.

I know next year will be a rebuilding year, but these five guys form a terrific nucleus around which a skilled coach can build a competitive team. And by skilled coach, I mean those not named Steve Alford and Isiah Thomas.

Update
Terry Hutchens over of the Hoosier Insider has a post about this same thing.

Let's take a look, first with the possibly idealistic view that everyone that is eligible to be back returns. The starting lineup would probably look this way:

Point Guard -- Earl Calloway. If one guy emerged from the two NCAA Tournament games it was Calloway. I think for most of the season he believed his role on the team was to push the ball up court, get it in the hands of either Killingsworth or one of IU's catch-and-shoot guys on the perimeter, and use his quickness to pay dividends on defense. In the NCAA Tournament, he emerged as a player who can do all of those things and be an effective scorer, too.

Shooting Guard -- Roderick Wilmont or A.J. Ratliff. These guys could both potentially be in the starting lineup if Ratliff gets over his sophomore jinx. But these guys will be looked upon to shoulder a lot of the perimeter scoring load.

Off Guard/Small Forward -- Robert Vaden. If Vaden returns, he could be a solid candidate for first-team all-Big Ten honors. He needs to do better handling the ball and work on some of his passing decisions, but the guy can flat-out play.

Forward/Power Forward -- Ben Allen. I think this is a role that he could potentially settle into, but he'll need to make good strides over the summer. The breakout season that many hoped for this season could occur under a new coach next year.

Power Forward/Center -- D.J. White. If White decides to return, Indiana will be a team that will be given instant status as a squad that could compete for the Big Ten championship. Sure, Ohio State will be the favorite, but Indiana, with White, would at least be considered a team in the upper third of the conference.

My only disagreement here is that I think Vaden will be gone so I didn't even bother speculating. Davis has already received a call from Mississippi about its head coach position and I don't see Vaden having a problem sitting out a year, especially if its a decent program.

Billy Packer Sucks

And to tell you why Billy Packer sucks, I'm going to let blogger Matt May tell you some of the reasons.

The difference is palpable and it's a shame that Majerus won't be around for the tourney. CBS is apparently under the assumption that because Packer is "controversial" people tune in. On the contrary, there is no other outlet for watching the Final Four and, therefore, no choice. It would be interesting to see how many viewers watch Final Four weekend with the mute button super-glued on their remote.

For me, Packer has always been somebody who loves to hear himself talk. He's like Dick Vitale but without a personality. He simply drones on and on about the game and brings zero insight to what I'm watching. He likes to make statements. That's it. No real analysis to explain why he made his statement other than, "Here's what I think."

Hell, I'd rather listen to Vitale. At least he loves the game.

Anybody else want to weigh in on this? Why does Packer suck?

My Final Four

I've got several brackets completed, but here are my Final Four picks for the office tournament.

• Duke
• Connecticut
• UCLA
• Florida

UCLA takes care of Duke. UConn topples Florida.

UCLA outlasts UConn for the championship.

In this bracket, I've got IU losing in the first round to San Diego State.

Mmmmmm....Donut Burger

The burger that would do Homer Simpson proud: the donut burger.

This latest culinary disaster was created by the Gateway Grizzlies, a minor league baseball team in the Frontier League.

The Grizzlies and Krispy Kreme Doughnutshave teamed up to create “Baseball’s Best Burger.” The burger, which was introduced at Gateway’s December 10th sale, consists of a thick and juicy burger topped with sharp cheddar cheese and two slices of bacon. The burger is then placed in between each side of a Krispy Kreme Original Glazed doughnut.

The burger is said to weigh in at 1,000 calories and contain 45 grams of fat. By comparison, a Whopper with cheese only has 760 calories but has 47 grams of fat.

“We have had the opportunity to bring in a new concession item for the past two seasons and each of them have been very successful. We look forward to Baseball’s Best Burger and the excitement it will bring to the ballpark,” said Grizzlies General Manager Tony Funderburg.

Not to mention the paramedic visits.

Just Say NO!

CBS SportsLine.com: Isiah talking with Hoosiers? Witnesses say yes

Indiana Hoosiers legend Isiah Thomas was on campus Tuesday in Bloomington, Ind., and was spotted by two people walking into the office of the president, those witnesses told CBS SportsLine.com.

Rumors like this continue to scare the pee out of me. But does Isiah want the job? So far, he's saying all the things I want to hear:

Thomas denied an Internet report that said two witnesses saw him enter the office of university president Adam Herbert. "I have no interest in the Indiana coaching job," Thomas said in his statement.

But with this guy, you can never tell if he's telling the truth. He has no soul. He's left such a trail of destruction wherever he goes that his nickname should be Armageddon. I wouldn't put it past him to make a trip to Bloomington to gauge the university's interest in him and find a way to get away from the mess he's created in New York.

Injured Cheerleader Keeps Her Spirit

From MSNBC.com: Cheerleader worried for team, not herself

A cheerleader who continued to cheer for her team from a gurney despite tumbling 15 feet onto her head said Wednesday she was worried the accident would distract from the basketball game.

“My biggest concern was that I didn’t want my squad to be distracted — so that they could continue cheering on the team — and I didn’t want my team to be distracted from winning the game,” Kristi Yamaoka, 18, told NBC’s “Today” show.

I was watching this game and saw a replay of the fall. Like everybody else, I watched to see if she would be okay. But when she started her cheer routine from the gurney, I laughed through my tears. It was a great moment.

Granted, the Missouri Valley Conference had a typical knee-jerk response to the incident by banning certain cheerleading stunts during the women's basketball conference tournament. Everybody seemed okay with this stuff prior to the injury.

I guess it's all fun and games until somebody falls 15 feet and breaks a spine.

Hotter Than A Pistol

If you haven't heard the story about Jason McElwain, a 17-year-old autistic boy who scored 20 points in four minutes in his team's home finale, then consider yourself outed from the rock you've been under.

And if Hollywood has anything to say about it, you will hear plenty more about him.

His play drew national attention, and a flood of calls from Hollywood. His parents have received inquiries from about 25 production companies ranging from The Walt Disney Co. and Warner Bros. to independent documentary filmmakers.

My one request is that this movie does not end up in the hands of Jerry Bruckheimer. He has a way of messing with the facts when it comes to movies based on true stories.

Let's hope Jason's story ends up in the capable hands of independent filmmakers, people who care about making sure the human element of the story gets told correctly as opposed to pumping out a formulaic script.

Why not put Jason's story into the capable hands of Angelo Pizzo and David Anspaugh, the writer and director of Hoosiers--recently the choice of the readers of USA Today newspaper as the best sports movie of all time. In 2001 the United States Library of Congress deemed the film "culturally significant" and selected it for preservation in the National Film Registry.

I think Jason's story is culturally and emotionally significant.

"There are thousands of families across the country, getting a diagnosis of autism for their 3-year-old; they took at Jason and have tears in their eyes," said Dr. Susan Hyman, an associate professor for pediatrics at the University of Rochester's Strong Center for Developmental Disabilities. "Because the image they have in their minds isn't of some strapping young teenager making baskets from half court. The hope and the promise this provides -- it's priceless."

Put another way, before McElwain's sharpshooting, high-profile role models for children with autism were few and far between--and there aren't many whom those inside the autism community can relate to.

Until now.

“I’m not really that different,” he said. “I don’t really care about this autistic situation, really. It’s just the way I am. The advice I’d give to autistic people is just keep working, just keep dreaming, you’ll get your chance and you’ll do it.”

As much as I would hate to see Hoosiers replaced as the greatest sports movie ever, I wouldn't mind if Jason's story becomes the one to do it.

Out With the Old Mike, In With the New?

A fellow by the name of iugrad gave me this link over at Potshots with Pete:

Monty hearts IU: Through various middlemen, former Stanford coach Mike Montgomery has made it clear that he's interested in Indiana if Indiana is interested in him. Montgomery is enduring his second straight losing NBA season at Golden State. For the record, in my book, Montgomery should be the first choice at Indiana. What he did at Stanford (393-167) boggles the mind. Imagine him at Indiana.

Believe me, I am.

This little blurb is by Gregg Doyel at CBS SportsLine.com. It may only a small blurb, but it has given me so much hope. Recent buzz surrounding the next coach at IU had begun to include the Great Destroyer, Isiah Thomas, former IU golden boy and current destroyer of the New York Knicks. I was starting to lose faith in humanity, but now? Oh, baby.

If IU's athletic director, Rick Greenspan, has any sense at all, Mike Montgomery would be at the top of his list.

To work for Pitino, assistants need to shed pounds

This is a great article by Aditi Kinkhabawal over at SI.com.

Hats off to Rick Pitino for not only demanding physical responsibility from his players, but from his assistant coaches as well.

At Louisville, punishments are meted out in practice-closing push-ups. These days, Menzies pops down and does them alongside his players. He can do 150. You'd better believe there's not a Cardinal who whines about how many he's got to do.

"We're preaching to these kids about self-discipline and about being able to set goals and maintain them," Menzies said. "They respect your words a little more when you're living what you're telling them."

That is so true. Now if only Philip Fulmer would follow Pitino's advice.

Davis Was Never Right

I'm recovering from hand surgery so I can't comment as fully as I'd like to on Mike Davis resigning as Indiana's head coach.

But I will say that Jason Whitlock on ESPN.com Page 2 got it right:

Davis isn't the first coach -- black or white -- to face a hanging tree. And you know what? He's probably not the first to tie his own noose, pick out the tree and kick the chair out from underneath his feet. It just feels like the first time to me, because I've seen it coming from the get-go.

While Davis believes Indiana needs one of its own to lead the Hoosiers, I contend that all Indiana fans want is a coach who passionately wants to be a Hoosier. Period.

That's so true. A recent column by Regie Hayes of the Fort Wayne News-Sentinel summed it up for me:

No one denies Davis can recruit. But he hasn’t proved he can build a team that blends stars, co-stars and role players. Last season, too much depended on the rise and fall of Bracey Wright. This season, it’s Marco Killingsworth. Too often, the Hoosiers seem to have a Plan A and, if that doesn’t work, they try Plan A.

Davis’ best team – the 2002 NCAA runner-up team – had no single superstar, but a collection of pieces that meshed in Jared Jeffries, Tom Coverdale, Dane Fife, A.J. Moye, Jeff Newton and Kyle Hornsby.

Since that miraculous tournament run in 2002, after all of Knight's kids left the program and all that remained were Davis's recruits, his inability to coach began to show.

And then the real whining began. But we've been over that before and don't need to write anymore about it. He's gone.

I'll let Mr. Whitlock end this post:

Bobby Knight turned Indiana into a powerhouse by stocking his roster with the best talent Indiana, Illinois and Ohio had to offer. Davis tried to win big this year with three mercenaries from the state of Alabama -- D.J. White and Auburn transfers Marco Killingsworth and Lewis Monroe. Killingsworth and Monroe enrolled at Indiana with just one year of eligibility left. White, a sophomore, committed to Indiana with the intentions of turning pro as soon as possible.

Monroe has been a disappointment. White injured his foot. And Killingsworth, who lacks the kind of Indiana-bred basketball savvy of players such as Jeffries, kills Indiana's offense because he doesn't know how to pass out of a double-team.

Are there some IU fans who don't like Davis simply because of the color of his skin? Yes. But that element in no way cost Davis his job. Mike Davis cost himself one of the best jobs in America by wallowing in pity.

Pity provides comfort, but it sure don't pay the bills.

Mike Davis is an Abusive Parent

Okay, I confess that I don’t know that for sure. In fact, he’s probably a really nice guy. He must be because he continues to convince talented basketball players to come to IU when he’s clearly an inferior coach.

But I have a serious problem with this (edited version, my emphasis):

Wednesday night, Davis kept his team behind closed doors for nearly 40 minutes after its most recent Big Ten road loss, a 72-54 drubbing at the hands of Wisconsin.

Very few players leaving the locker room had anything to say. Marco Killingsworth and Robert Vaden declined comment.

Roderick Wilmont said Davis challenged the team.

“He just asked us, ‘Who are you playing for?’” Wilmont said. “A lot of guys said their families and Indiana, and we’re just not playing for them right now. We’re embarrassing them. We’ve got to get this thing turned around.”

Junior college transfer Earl Calloway, who made his third start of the season at point guard, said Davis just told the team they needed to bounce back and bounce back quickly. IU plays Iowa on Saturday at Assembly Hall.

“He told us we need to pick our heads up, work harder and we need to win,” Calloway said.

Holy mother of controlling parents everywhere. So if you can’t teach your kids how to execute your offense, you blame them, call them an embarrassment, and heap shame on them? And then you tell them to hold their heads up like that’s going to make things better? It’s no wonder IU is in a tailspin. Davis is too busy defending himself as a worthy coach and blaming the players for the team’s troubles rather than figuring out how to save the season like a good coach should do.

“He told us we need to pick our heads up, work harder and we need to win.”

I’m seething with rage. That’s your big advice, “coach?” That’s like me telling a homeless person that all he needs to do is have a little pride and get a job. That’s all that needs to happen. The team just needs to work harder.

“We’ve got to get this thing turned around.”

What a simple strategy, “coach.” Is that like Bush saying our troops won’t leave Iraq until the job is done? Got any details in mind, “coach?” No? I didn’t think so.

I don’t know about anybody else, but I’ve seen games where the IU players are running their asses off. These boys can flat out fly around the court. Unfortunately, when they’re allowed to run they look like chickens with their heads cut off because they have no direction. That direction, or lack of it, comes from the leader on the bench.

Based on what I’m reading about this team meeting, I’m predicting that IU will lose to Iowa on Saturday. The team is feeling bad already and Davis just shamed them some more. Honestly, I don’t feel embarrassed to be a fan of IU basketball. I’m embarrassed that Mike Davis is the coach of the program.

Random Acts of Pain

1. I have a broken hand.
I returned to the basketball court last week for the first time in several months. During the second game I was involved in a collision that broke the fourth metacarpal on my left hand. I will have surgery next week to set the bone and install a plate.

This will set me back in the workout department. I was already seeing results from phase one of Mike Robertson's training plan. He has graciously offered to put the training on hold until the hand heals. The initial prognosis has me returning to lifting heavy weights in about three months, lighter lifting can resume sooner.

2. IU Lost Again
I'm ready to turn in my Hoosier Nation membership card. Last night's loss to Wisconsin was disgraceful. I'll have more to say later.

3. Girls are Better Than Guys...At Destroying Themselves
Teen girls are smoking and using prescription drugs more than teen boys, a new finding that is surprising in light of an overall decline in drug use.

4. McDonald’s french fries just got fatter
Translation: The level of potentially artery-clogging trans fat in a portion of large fries is eight grams, up from six, with total fat increasing to 30 grams from 25! And very few people will care about that and keep right on eating them.

5. Mike Davis is Still the Coach of Indiana
I'll let me buddy Steve break down the IU/Wisconsin game for me since all of his fingers are working.

Yeah. It's a beautiful day today. At least U2 won a bunch of Grammies.

MAR-CO? OH NO!

Once again, a superiorly coached team showed that Marco is not the answer when IU’s back is against the wall. For the second time this season, the number one ranked team in the country came to Bloomington, and for the second time the year, the number one team prevailed.

Final score: UConn 88. IU 80. And folks it wasn’t that close.

"I keep saying this over and over, Marco [Killingsworth] is definitely the presence we need. When he goes out of the game it definitely affects our play. Every time Marco goes out it hurts us. Marco's our guy, and there is no secret to that."--Mike Davis

And that’s your problem, “coach.” Everybody knows that you have designed your offense around one player. And you said so yourself, when Marco goes out, the team suffers. And that’s a shame because you have an entire team of talented players ready to take over games. But since you only run plays for Marco, you leave the rest of the guys to fend for themselves when he’s not in.

I think making your team one-dimensional--and announcing that strategy to everyone--indicates a poor coaching job and zero common sense.

So what’s the problem with Marco? Why am I so hard on him? Other than he gets winded, in foul trouble, and can’t shot free throws, nothing. Except maybe this.

I wonder what pitch Davis used to get Marco to come to IU. It’s as if he said, “I can get you to the NBA if you play for me.” Marco’s game is all about stats and not about game impact. Well, except for all the negative impact he has.

"When we push the ball early, good things happen for us. Against this basketball team [UConn], you got to get it up quick and make plays. I thought Earl came in with the speed to match their guys and did a great job. Playing that way takes us to another level."--Mike Davis

But “coach,” I have a problem. How can you push the ball when your offense is about dumping the ball into Marco? Good things happen when you push the ball, yet Marco is your man. Trying to have it both ways is not working.

Your best all-around player, Robert Vaden, even agrees with you: “Earl gave the team a big spark. He penetrated, pushed the ball up the court, got into the lane and got the team some open shots.”

And when dribble penetration was working, Davis still thought he should put Marco back in the game and pound the ball inside. Even though that strategy hadn't worked all game.

Some final thoughts:

• The answer is not Marco, its quickness.
• What is with Billy Packer’s love fest with Marco? He’s just gushing about how exhausted Marco is and all the effort he’s exerting. Maybe he’s just out of shape.
• At the 6:12 mark of the second half, Billy says Marco should come back in so IU can make one more run at catching up, even though IU had used speed and dribble penetration to catch up. Marco did make a nice pass to Vaden after coming in. However, I worry that the game will be slowed down when speed was getting us back in the game. The fear turned into reality.
• We go zone and immediately UConn scores because nobody covered the weak side.
  Ben Allen is a smart fouler. Yes, he gets caught out of position, but he will not let his man score easy baskets. He did that twice.
• Why give Marco the ball at the 3-point line?
• At 3:18 left, Marco does a poor job defending the pick and there is no additional weak side help and Boone gets a dunk plus one. Ole!
• IU’s player of the game according to CBS is Wilmont: 14 points on 5 of 14 shooting. THAT’S our player of the game? Thanks for point out the stat, too, CBS. Dicks.
• The style of play changed for IU with Marco in the game. The ball MUST go to the middle, which clogs the lane and prevents our speedsters from being effective.
• Ben Allen missed too many shots. He was in position for his shots. This was a good game for him regardless. He just needs to finish around the basket.
• Marco was once again rendered below average, yet the announcers had to bring up the Duke game again.
• Vaden is such a key cog to this team. He does so much. He’s smart, he’s got a nose for the ball, and he seems to be around most of the plays. Yet he’s not the central focus of the offense. It’s Marco. That’s just stupid.
• When UConn got around to finally taking advantage of its height advantage, it rolled over IU, no matter who was in. When IU realized how effective its quickness could be, it climbed back into the game. Monroe and Calloway were terrific during a stretch.
• Ultimately, it was IU’s inability to adjust to the game and refusal to stray too far from giving the ball to Marco and chucking threes that cost us this game. Oh, that and the matador defense. Ole!

Any final words?

“That is a great basketball team, the best I’ve seen,” Indiana coach Mike Davis said. “They’re so physical and have so many weapons you have to try and take away, whew, I’m glad that one’s over.”

So are the rest of us, “coach.” So are the rest of us.

Fraud Alert!

Attention Sport's Illustrated. You've been deceived. Hoodwinked. Bamboozled.

Your love affair with statistics has blinded you to reality. Have you forgotten the Mark Twain quip about statistics? "There are lies, damn lies, and statistics." Either that, or the staff is free-basing playdough.

The SI.com college hoops staff has released its Midseason All-Americans list. I'm thinking this should be interesting, after all, these guys are experts, right?

First Team:
J.J. Redick, Duke
Randy Foye, Villanova
Adam Morrison, Gonzaga
Mike Gansey, West Virginia
Shelden Williams, Duke

Not bad. I think Williams is overrated, but certainly a second or third teamer. Maybe there is a more deserving big man on the second team:

Second Team:
Dee Brown, Illinois
Allan Ray, Villanova
Maurice Ager, Michigan State
Marco Killingsworth, Indiana
LaMarcus Aldridge, Texas

Wait. Did I read that name correctly? Maroc Killingsworth? Midseason Second-Team All American as named by SI.com's college basketball writers?

Second Team:
Marco Killingsworth, Indiana
19.2 ppg, 7.5 rpg, 59.2% FGs

Oh. My. God. Has any player ridden the success of one fantastic performance more than Marco? When he went off against Duke's reigning defensive player of the year in Sheldon Williams on national TV and number one Duke lover Dick Vitale, I'm sure everybody across the basketball nation asked, "Who the fuck is that?"

Ask those of us who actually watch the locally televised games and we'll tell you who Killingsworth is--an over-excited big man who has difficulty passing out of double-teams, forces his way through double-teams, turns the ball over at key moments, can't shoot free-throws (but is getting better), argues with refs, and is a bully and a thug.

He is the main focus of IU's offensive style, recently defined as inarticulate, so he's bound to get the majority of the shots and IU chucks up tons of threes so he's bound to get some convenient rebounds. He can't jump worth crap and fancies himself an all-around player like Robert Vaden when he takes ill-advised three-point shots. He's a defensive liability, proven by several season or career best performances by opposing big men.

Second team All-American? He's not even a second team all Big Ten player in my book.

There are lies, damn lies, and statistics.

And then there is Marco Killingsworth.

From Contender to Pretender

"The journey from contender to pretender took all of a week for the Indiana University basketball team."

So begins an article by Terry Hutchens of the Indianapolis Star describing Indiana University's latest Big Ten road debacle against Minnesota. IU is now 4 and 3 in the conference with all three losses coming on the road.

After this game, I think the collective hearts of Hoosier Nation sank. My favorite blog to gripe about IU and "Coach" Davis is Steve Straiger's Sports Blog from the Hoosier Heartland. Steve lives in Indianapolis and can follow the Hoosiers much better than I. You want a great break down of the Minnesota game? Check this out.

For me, I can't bring too much to the table. Instead of discecting a game that I didn't see, I want to go back to a post I made on October 19, 2005, on my nearly failed sports-themed blog. The question I ask is, "Can Mike Davis Coach?"

I sort of agree with Mr. Davis. Will a leader emerge who is worth following? Looking over the roster, finding a leader will be difficult. The two Auburn transfers, Marco Killingsworth and Lewis Monroe, should provide senior leadership along with Marshal Strickland. Now that Bracey Wright left early for the NBA, gone is the need to stand around and wait for him to shoot. Leadership should bubble up from these three players on the court and in the locker room.

My worry comes from the “leader” on the bench. Coach Mike Davis has been embattled his entire tenure as IU’s coach. And for good reason. After Knight’s Kids finally graduated or left early, the team was left with only Mike’s Kids and Hoosier basketball has been worse for the wear.

Mike’s Kids have a propensity for bad fundamentals: sloppy passing, lazy cuts, slow responses, missed blockouts, bad picks, and hardly any basketball smarts.

All of that comes from coaching and Davis has yet to show me that he can truly coach basketball at this level. It’s one thing to draw up plays and lecture the team, it’s another to hone the skills of the players into a single unit that can execute the plays. The Hoosiers have failed to execute.

Davis blamed the youth of the team, among other things. He has yet to fully take responsibility for the on-court actions of this team. This year, he has no excuse.

This year, Davis must show me he can coach. The deck is stacked against him as the past two years have slowly tilted me towards the He’s-a-fucking-idiot-who-has-no-idea-what-he’s-doing side.

A post-game quote from Davis perfectly answers the coaching question:

But but his guy was so clean, it was um embarrassing. He he was just so clean in his fundamentals. Um yous have to take your um hat off to coach Monson for playing some guys that normally wouldn't start.

How about giving credit to Minnesota coach Monson for teaching number 32 the fundamentals of basketball? I'll tell what is embarassing. The fact that our guys seem to lose their grasp of fundamentals under Davis.

Do you hear that Davis? You're an embarassment to the profession of basketball coaches. Your kids aren't stupid. You've been blaming them for years. Time to face up the truth: YOU. CAN'T. COACH.

Spork Boy is Getting Stronger

Here is what I posted in the T-Nation forums about my current training program.

While attending Test Fest, I was the fortunate recipient of three months of complimentary training from Mike Robertson. Several T-Nation members--okay, maybe two--wanted me to chronicle my progress in the forums.

So here it is.

I want to add an important disclaimer about posting my progress. You may find that my posts will lack specifics about my program. This is for two reasons as laid out by Coach Robertson himself:

1 - People pay Mike to design customized programs and his customer base probably wouldn't like knowing that his programs are just all over the Internet for anyone to use, free of charge.

2 - Some of you might look at my program and think, "This fucking sucks! I write better programs than Robertson." However, Mike knows all about me--my situation, my goals, my health--and has a long-term plan in mind. What he's designed for me is perfect for my current situation and where I'm going.

That said, I will answer any questions you have about what I'm doing as long as they don't violate the two rules. I appreciate your understanding.

So let's begin.
==================================
For the first step, I completed an assessment detailing my goals, prior training, any health issues. Here is my initial e-mail to Mike (please forgive the length):

Here is the requested assessment information. It's a bit long, but I felt some of the information needed to be told.

My Current Training Program
I believe a little history about my workout history before I get into my current workout is in order. I tried for the majority of 2005 to get in shape. I struggled with allergy-induced infections that would lay me out for one to two weeks at a time, nullifying any workouts I would do. I played basketball and lifted when my body let me. I got that part under control with allergy medicine. So all's well that ends well, right?

In the late summer, I felt some pretty severe pain in my back and began seeing a chiropractor who also performs ART on me. Part of my treatment is to wear a 5mm lift to balance out my hips. I have an 8mm difference between my leg lengths. The lift has helped things out. Additionally, my L2 or L3, I can't recall which at the moment, is wonky and he's still working on straightening it out.

He didn't want me to lift so I began to swim. I stopped seeing him for a few months and finally said, "Screw it." My weight at the time was 228 pounds and I decided to take matters into my own hands.

I picked up Lou Schuler's book The Testosterone Advantage Plan and felt the workouts would have a limited affect on my back. I even asked Lou for his non-medical opinion on the matter and he concurred that my back should be okay, but to ask my doc if I had concerns.

With my mind made up and plan in hand, I set out. On November 7, I began a 10-day version of the Velocity Diet to jumpstart the process. I then began the Testosterone Advantage Plan (TAP) a few days later. To date, I've lost 28 pounds and the pain in my back is lessoning. I'm back to seeing my chiropractor and he continues with adjustments and ART.

This may be more information than you asked for, but I felt you should know that I've not been lifting consistently for a long time and I do have an existing back problem.

I just finished phase two of TAP. This phase lasted three weeks and consisted of the following:

Workout A
W1-Barbell Bench Press
W2-Cable Row
X1-Lat Pulldown
X2-Barbell Shoulder Press
Y1-Lying Triceps Extension with EZ Bar
Y2-Preacher Curl
Z1-Dumbbell External Rotation
Z2-Swiss-Ball Crunch

Workout B
X1-Leg Press
X2-Leg Curl
Y1-Leg Extension
Y2-Back Extension
Z1-Seated Calf Raise
Z2-Reverse Crunch

Over three weeks, I alternated the workouts--workout A on Monday, workout B on Wednesday, etc. The lifts were performed as super sets as indicated by the letters. For each exercise, I performed three sets at 8-12 reps. When I hit 12 reps for a lift, I increased the weight. The first set was usually used as a warm-up and had lighter weight. I had a 60 second rest between sets and exercises. I have phase one and two written down and can provide that information if you need it.

My Current Goals
My current goals have primarily consisted of losing fat while not losing muscle and strengthening my back. I'm not concerned with getting hyooge right now but I do want to get stronger.

I also set a goal of returning to the basketball court when I reached 190 pounds. There's not much significance in the number other than it means I will have lost another 10 pounds and put in another four weeks or so of strength training to support my back.

To that end, these would be my current goals:

1. Lose body fat
2. Get strong (maintain my muscle)
3. Get functional by strengthening my core
4. Get back on the basketball court
5. Dunk


Final Thoughts
As you put together my program, I'm a little hesitant to do any Olympic-style lifts if you're thinking of using them. First, my chiro doesn't want me to do dead lifts. I think he personally hates them more than he's actually worried about my back, but it bears mentioning. Secondly, never having done any Olympic-style lifts, I wouldn-t want to start out doing any of them incorrectly.

From that rambling message, Mike put together a lifting, flexibility, and posture rehab program. Here are the basics of what I'm doing:

* Train 3 times per week with weights
* Do posture/prehab/rehab work 3 times per week (minimum)
* Perform cardio 3 tims per week for about 20 minutes

More specifically:
1 - Perform the dynamic flex/spinal flossing before each workout to get me prepped and ready to go.

2 - The training program. For the first phase, I'm lifting three times a week on non-consecutive days while alternating "A" and "B" workouts as before. He managed to mesh several goals into one program (fat loss, get the back healthy, and start bringing up the strength). Once I get totally healthy, the programming will change.

3 - Perform posture/prehab/rehab work at least three times per week on non-consecutive days.

After several rounds of questions to get an understanding of his training style and further explanations about lifts and stretches, I hit the gym last Tuesday.

My next post will start to talk about my impressions and results from my first week of training.

Thanks for reading and I hope somebody will find this worth reading and even benefit from it.

I'm going to try to update the blog and forum thread with similar information. Check back to either spot.

A Fitness Fad for Everyone

The ladies in this photo are:
A) The Rockettes rehearsing a new routine
B) Saving a ton of money on their car insurance by switching to Geico
C) Participating in one of the nation's hotest fitness trends: Stiletto Strength

If you guessed C, laugh and cry along with me because Stiletto Strength is one of eight fitness trends highlighted in a Forbes article:

"Stiletto Strength" classes consist of a 30-minute routine of Pilates and strength training, with the last 15 minutes spent strutting around in 3-inch heels. But instead of being a class for training aspiring dominatrixes, it actually turned out to be a strength and stretch class that used classical dance moves to tone the legs.

Other new trends include Gyrotonic training, which combines principles from yoga, dance, gymnastics, swimming and tai chi on machines from the middle ages and Intensati, which inspires members to live balanced lives through a blend of meditation and martial arts.

You can check out what passes for fitness crazes these days by clicking here. For a real laugh, check out the extensive list of fitness classes offered on the Crunch Fitness Gyms web site, the originator of Stiletto Strength. Personally, I'm dying to try Disco Yoga.

With Allis Like These, Who Needs Enemas?

I'm just going to blatantly rip off something Lou Schuler wrote over at his blog:

The big news today: An FDA panel has recommended that the manufacturer of a prescription fat-blocking pill be allowed to sell it over the counter in the U.S.

The pill has a kind of cool generic name -- Orlistat -- and a cheesy trade name: Xenical. It'll be sold under yet another name, Alli, which sounds like half of a famous comedy team -- the wrong half for a weight-loss pill.

Orlistat sounds almost regal to me ("Your highness, I present the Duke of Orlistat"), which is appropriate, considering the entire point of the drug is to send more of what you eat down the porcelain throne before your body has a chance to absorb it.

Actions like this just boggle my mind. A prescription drug with minimal benefits and disgusting and discomforting side effects has passed the first step towards being sold over the counter just because there is an obesity epidemic. Yet, supplements like ephedra that are known to work and have fewer side effects are banned because the FDA doesn't regulate them.

Puh-leez. This is just continues to show how deep our government's hands are in the pockets of druge companies.

From the Washington Post article:

Here's what else you need to know about Orlistat, which GSK plans to market as Alli:

It won't work alone . Orlistat makes "weight loss easier, but not effortless," says Gary Foster, clinical director of the University of Pennsylvania's Weight and Eating Disorders Program. Foster worked with GSK to develop an online, year-long weight loss plan for those who take the drug over-the-counter. "You can't just take the pill and sort of check out," he says, noting that counting calories and increasing physical activity are still important. Plus, Orlistat only is effective when it's taken with food.

Prepare to pay. GSK vice president Steve Burton says that Alli will probably cost "about the same as a soda and a bag of chips," or about $2 to $3 per day. But that's for a 60 milligram dose -- half of what has been modestly effective in clinical trials. Studies show that weight loss is smaller at lower doses. (A 30-day supply of prescription Orlistat runs about $160 or about $6 per day.)

Calories still count . Some people try to avoid Orlistat's side effects by skipping high-fat fare but overeating low-fat or nonfat foods. "If someone complains that they are hungry all the time, they probably should not choose to take Orlistat," Cheskin says.

Plan on taking a multivitamin . Some key vitamins are not well absorbed when Orlistat is used. Among them are vitamins A, D, E and K, which are important for eyesight, bones, immune function and more. Users of Alli will be advised to take a multivitamin daily to make up for the loss.

Figure on long-term usage . Studies show that once the drug is stopped, weight usually returns, suggesting that those who take Alli will likely have to stay on it long-term or cycle on and off it.

Yep, it's a miracle drug. Anything that blocks the absorbtion of vitamins gets my vote as an effective nutritional aid. Oh, and I'm sure this pill won't be misused or abused in any way by people with eating disorders.

My Chummiest Confidante, Annick

This is an actual spam e-mail I received at work. My only edit was to remove the link to some web site:

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exceedingly law bit the current of my occasionally meditations.
scarce restrain the qualm illustrate of nausea that surged watt through her as the malodorous thing approached her nostrils.

Truly and always yours,

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I love Annick. He/She is always good for a laugh and malodorous things.

The Next Step

"I looked over your program last night, and things are definitely going to be different. How many days per week and how much time do you have per session?"

So wrote Mike Robertson, one of the premier performance coaches in the country and the guy who is currently designing the next three months of my training. For some reason, that phrase, "How many days per week and how much time do you have per session" rather worried me...in a good way.

I won three months of training from Mike Robertson in a raffle while attending Test Fest in Washington, DC. I have no idea what to expect from this guy other than I'm going to work my ass off. I plan on chronicling my progress here so stay tuned.

A Lesson in Body Fat

Here's an important lesson I learned tonight when getting my body fat measure: Use the same person each time you measure.

On January 4, 2005, I measured in at a body fat of 20.7%. I weighed around 219. Since that day, I put on 9 pounds and eventually topped out at 228 before finally getting around to losing weight.

On January 9, 2006, I tipped the scale at 200 pounds. I figured it was time to get my body fat tested again. My pants had been fitting better, my face looked leaner, and I had been receiving compliments at work. Time to quantify my success.

This new gal pinched the everlovin' shit out of me and took measurements that gave me a body fat reading of 22.7%. That's right. I increased my fat mass over the year while still losing weight.

According to her, anyway. She was supportive and explained each person grips differently when taking measurements. As I rub the sore spot on my side I'm thinking, "ya think?" She also told me to come see her in 4-6 weeks to take another reading.

I'm trying hard to keep things in perspective. What I do know is that I've dropped a notch on my belt and can wear 34" waist jeans again instead of only 36". I'm going to stick with that even though right now I'm ready to eat a gallon of ice cream.

And she can bet her smug little personal trainer ass that she'll see me again in 4-6 weeks.